Project Runway Excitement!

Project Runway is back! Project Runway is back!

No, not the original Project Runway.* Project Runway Australia.

So excited.

*Please note that I'm not knocking the original, which I love obsessively. But season 1 of PR Australia didn't have a Wendy Pepper, Jeffrey, Santino, or Kenley in the final three, so in a way, it was far, far superior to the U.S. version.

And Now For Another Installment of . . . Overshare Theater!!

Right. So. I went to the allergist (finally!) last week and got tested (finally!) for various things. And I am allergic to everything.

Ok, I am not allergic to everything.

But I am allergic to pretty much all the grasses there are, most trees, cats (yep, as I suspected, I'm allergic to my cat), dogs, other stuff, and dust. I am very, very allergic to dust. Yep, I am the one in the "one in ten people are allergic to dust" statistic.

This list of many allergies? It explains so much. For example, why I feel so lousy most of the time. I go through tissues faster than I can replace them, frequently using paper towels because that's all I have left. That leads to an attractive condition called "chapped nose" that everyone feels the need to comment on, only I don't really mind because they know I'm not faking feeling sick when I look like that. But then I forget about until I wash my face with salicylic acid face wash, which hurts like heck, and I start to swear, but I get as far as "holy feeeerrrrr" (that's the sound of me trying not to swear), bite my lip, and then wash it off as fast as I can. And then my nose looks even better.

I use my neti pot, oh, 6 or 7 times a day---more if I'm home all day. At least once a month, I have a night where I wake up at least once an hour to have sneezing fits, and then I sneeze all day (hello, chapped nose!), which I'm sure disgusts my coworkers. I have frequent sore throats. And, apparently, I rub my eyes a lot. Normally, if RR catches me, she will point it out to me because I do it so much, I don't even notice anymore.

And it explains how, whenever I get close to a carpet, or go in a room with a lot of dust, I get all those things, sneezy, congested, itchy throat and eyes, plus I have a little bit of breathing trouble. Rights. That's allergies. This, I could not figure out for myself. The pollen allergies, I noticed that all by my lonesome, but the dust problems, that I had to have someone tell me.

So my allergist gave me a list of things that should help, although the costs start to add up, including (and this is the part that cracks me up), I should not be the person doing the dusting. In fact, I shouldn't even be in the house when it's being done. But if I have to do the dusting, (specifically, this is what cracks me up) I must wear a dust mask.

So now I will look like my grandmother, who I always kind of made fun of. Not to her face, but in my head. Of course, she wore one outside---I can still picture her walking out into their giant backyard, approaching us with that mask on her face, gesturing the whole time and telling us that it was time to come inside and we could play Uno or bingo or something---but it may come to that for me. I should add that she was very loving and sweet, and I think really she wanted us to come inside so that she could spend time with us without having to be outside with the pollen. But she looked ridiculous.

Ok, you are saying, this is just sharing. This is not so much oversharing. Wait! I'm getting to it!

(and I promise all of my oversharing won't always be about mucus) (but this is) (but first, a little something to make you sleep better tonight)

Did you know that dust contains, among other things, the feces and decaying bodies of dust mites? Did you know that the average mattress contains tens of thousands of dust mites, and then of course, when they die, they stay there for you to breathe in their decaying bodies at night while you sleep? Did you know that the weight of your pillow increases over time with the addition of dead mites and their droppings, which you also breathe in at night? You're welcome!

So anyway, back to phlegm. Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday, I had ye olde green mucus again. I don't know why it is that when I finally figure out what I need to do to get rid of my allergies, they take a turn for the worse. Using my neti pot has been fun, let me tell you. Especially when that stuff comes out of my nose and then doesn't go immediately down the drain but just sits there in the sink looking at me, so I have to look back at it while I'm trying to pour enough water into the sink to encourage it to move along. Yes, I know, it's gross, and it's not the sort of thing you should share with other people. But that's why I'm sharing---I refuse to be disgusted alone.

I think this may be related to the pressure I've been feeling in my ears. Well, first of all, Monday at one point, I sneezed so hard that my ear popped, or whatever you call it when your ear goes from being fine to feeling clogged. I do not have feminine, dainty sneezes to begin with, they are much more of the "AAACCHOOOOO" variety (which is usually ok because as my dad says, if you have to sneeze, you might as well make it worthwhile), but this one was a doozy. But luckily, I later sneezed again and it unclogged. At least, it felt like I did, but I've been doing that old man, cup your ear and say, "Eh?" thing all day, so maybe not.

It still feel like I had a lot of pressure, and I hope that's why my ear was itching, because I always have this fear that a bug has crawled into my ear and died. That is not an irrational fear because people do get bugs in their ears sometimes when they sleep. The bugs crawl in and then can't get out. I slept with my sheets pulled over my ears for months after I learned that.

I spent most of Monday holed up in my office because I was afraid that I would sneeze with all that force, only in front of someone, and it would be scarring and gross for them and horrifyingly embarrassing for me. And I felt so bad for my coworkers anyway because you really can hear everything through the walls, so the coworkers with offices next to me get a real treat when I have this kind of thing going on. On Monday, I was relieved to see one of the coworkers, the one who can hear the best what's going on in my office, had on headphones. Because the sounds I was making when I blew my nose . . . those are sounds that would make me wish I had headphones if I was forced to listen to someone else making those sounds. I just hope that I'm not *why* he had on the headphones.

Anyway, I'm feeling better today, still stuffy and phlegmy, but of the normal variety, and things are mostly clear. But I'm still irritated that I had to deal with it at all because I'm already THAT person at work. That person that is always sick and talking about being sick. So now, I'm THAT person, plus I'm disgusting.

And oh great, I just realized that if I'm talking about my allergies all the time, then I really AM my grandmother. Next thing you know, I'm going to be saying that my parents' dog "thinks she's people" and using "quaint" little expressions like "dishy-washy washy dishy!" Please stop me if this happens.

Ta-da!

That concludes this installment of Overshare Theater.

Large Bird and Computer Problems

Note: I wrote this in April and am just now getting around to posting it---sorry!

Ok, so, for about a month, I have been engaged in a battle of wills with my laptop, which I refer to as "my stupid laptop," because it has never once, not since I got it, behaved correctly. I should have known. I bought it from the Dell outlet, "certified refurbished," which didn't worry me and shouldn't worry you if you ever decide to buy one from there---between my sister and I we've now bought four computers from the Dell outlet, and mine is the only one that causes trouble. And I should have known better, I really should have. Because I called the 1-800 number instead of ordering online, and the one that I wanted had already been sold, but the guy on the phone was all, "oh, hey, we have this other one that has all the same specs you wanted, only its cheaper." I should have known better.

And oh, yeah, he said, it's pink. Bleck. I didn't want a pink computer. I like pink, I have lots of pink sweaters, but a computer I did not want in pink. Because that says, "I'm that girl. I like pink so much that I have to have my computer in pink. I'm such a girlie-girl, even my computer has to make a statement. Look at me, my computer is pink. I giggle a lot. I'm THAT girl." No offense, y'all, if you bought a pink computer by choice. But bleck. So, yeah, I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN. But whatever, I hate pushy salespeople, and I just wanted to get off of the phone, so I took it.

And it pretty much ain't worked right since I received it. So many blue screens of death have flashed at me. And then, finally, for the last month, I'll spare you the details, but I had some corrupted files that appeared to be interfering with my installing important updates and so when I've not been working, I've been trying to fix my computer. And the free online tech forums I'd posted to, which are so helpful to other people, for me their advice was the equivalent of your company's IT guy who always asks you if you've rebooted your computer, even when your problem is something like "I just poured diet soda all over it and now there's smoke coming out and I hear sizzling."

I am happy to report that finally, finally, I won! Except only sort of, and it was a bittersweet victory, because my laptop was not prepared to go down without a fight, and in the end, I wound up just totally reinstalling the operating system. Only OF COURSE I forgot to backup my Internet bookmarks. So the massive amount of allergen-free recipes that I had accumulated over the last year? ALL GONE.


And my computer said, "HA ha."


I'm STILL not sure that everything is working right, but at least I got those updates to finally install. I do have a problem now with my cursor moving for no apparent reason, so now I find myself typing in the wrong place in documents, resulting in sentences that make no sense whatsoever, but as long as I notice where the errant typing went, it's ok. Annoying, but fixable.

On a totally unrelated note, recently, as I was sitting in my living room supposed to be working but instead struggling with my laptop, I just happened to glance over out our french doors onto the deck, and do you know what I saw? No, you'll never guess, so I'll just tell you.


It was A TURKEY. Well, it might not have been a turkey. But it was A HUGE bird. And of course I was alone. But I took pictures (albeit not very good ones), just so no one could say I was crazy.

Turkey.

Lurking.

Saw it with my own eyes.

See? HUGE. And of course RR wasn't here. I'm so sad that she didn't get to share that with me.

Life is Great

So, I recently watched the season (and possibly the series) finale of "Life." Wow, you guys. It was soooooo good. I couldn't sit down for most of it because I was too nervous. The season one finale just about made me sick to my stomach, I was so tense watching it, so worried about what was going to happen, and this one wasn't much behind that.

Do you watch "Life"? RR and I had not planned to be regular viewers. I remember when the show was premiering, I saw the promos, and I thought, 'Lame!' I had absolutely no desire to watch it. And then, one night when we were bored and nothing else was on, we were flipping channels and happened to see the first few minutes of the episode “Farthingale.” It was all over after that. We were hooked. RR and I immediately watched all of the previous episodes online, and we haven't missed an episode since.

Yes, the show is about two police officers, yes, they solve crimes every week, but this show is absolutely not another "Law & Order" or "CSI." This show isn't a cop show anymore than "Veronica Mars" was . . . other than the fact that the main characters are cops. This is a show about a man who happens to be a police detective. Just like how on the first season of "Veronica Mars," Veronica solved a case every week, but also was working to solve the season-long mystery of who killed Lily, this show has a mystery that underlies the whole season. The center of the show is the character of Charlie Crews, who, as we learn in the first episode, spent 12 years in prison for a murder he didn't commit. Released from prison after new evidence turned up, he got his job back on the police force. This show is about Crews figuring out who set him up. And my friends, it's quite a ride. It will suck you in.

The show also develops very nicely the relationship between Crews and his assigned partner, Danni Reese. Over the two seasons, they develop a real friendship that is just lovely to watch.

Damian Lewis is PHENOMENAL on the show (you may remember him from "Band of Brothers"). Y'all, I was right about "Arrested Development," I was right about "Veronica Mars," I was right about "Pushing Daisies." I'm right about this show, too. And, naturally, since it's a smart show, people don't watch it, and it's in serious danger of cancellation. I'm begging y'all. Get season 1 from netflix. Watch the first season*--it's only 11 episodes. I promise you'll get hooked before the season is over, and you'll want to see what Crews finds out. If you do, buy the episodes on Amazon or buy the dvds, and then tell your friends. This show doesn't deserve to be canceled. *I suggest you watch the whole first season because it takes a bit for the series to hit its stride.

Oh, and did I mention the show was funny? It's funny. It's a drama. But like Veronica Mars, it's funny. Trust me. This one's a keeper, and without more people watching it and SOON, we'll lose one of the best shows on t.v.

More Yellow Wallpaper

Well, hello! Let's just dive right in, shall we?

We have new neighbors in the townhouse diagonal from us (the building is L shaped, and we are in the corner). The new neighbors have a dog. Normally, I like dogs. I like them better than people, generally speaking. I have no idea what my next-door neighbors names are, but I know the names of both of their dogs. But this new neighbor's dog, he's testing me.

Because he WILL.NOT.STOP.BARKING.

It's kind of driving me insane.

Right now, I'm try to make a game out of it. You know, like trying to predict the pattern of his barks, and barking quietly along at the same time. Which, I know, makes me sounds as crazy as the crazy I'm trying to avoid. But this kind of crazy is harmless, whereas the kind of crazy I am trying to avoid is the kind that usually involves cops and jail time.

So we're barking.

[abrupt subject change]

Ok, so the latest round of illness to befall me: virulent stomach virus. Such fun.

I woke up in the morning, started getting ready for work, and threw up. Ate some crackers, threw up. Took a nap, threw up. Called my boss, took a longer nap. Woke up, felt ok. I didn't feel great or anything, but I thought it was ok. I get sick to my stomach a lot, so I figured it was just allergies. Because yes, my allergies are that bad. So I went to work. And throughout the day, I felt not-so-great, which is not my normal I-just-threw-up-from-allergies feeling, but I refused to consider that I might be actually sick.

Everyone at work: AAAAAH! Why are you here?!!!!

Me: I'm totally fine!

Everyone at work: Don't touch anything! And don't breathe in my air space!

(I'm not kidding about that---when I was sitting in my boss's office talking to her, she got a phone call from my coworker, and her conversation went like this: "Uh-huh . . . yeah, she's here talking to me . . . Ok." *click* [looks at me] "She says not let you touch anything in here.").

And then I got home, felt progressively worse, and then discovered that the morning had just been a kind of warm up, if you will, a sign of things to come.

At work, there are two strands of illness going around---a cold and a stomach virus. My friend at work who has the same first name also got it. Even though we were not the first people to catch it, whenvever someone says they think they are coming down with something, people say, "what do you think you have---a cold, or [J]'s problem?" So now my name=stomach virus. De-lightful.

I think my friends must think I just make this stuff up to get out of leaving my house. "Oh, I would love to come have dinner with you, but unfortunately *cough cough* I seem to have caught something." But really, I DREAD telling people that I'm sick because it happens so often. But I feel like full disclosure is necessary because I have this totally irrational fear that I will pass the illness along, but somehow it will mutate and kill my friends or their children, and I will have to live with that guilt for the rest of my life. And then I'll have to decide whether or not I ever confess that I was the one that got them sick. And I'm just trying to avoid that.

On a side note, I just want to say how sweet RR was when I was sick. She drove some files up to work for me, went and bought me crackers, and made sure I stayed hydrated. She deserves some kind of medal, in my opinion.

In other news, I am super-excited about the Palm Pre coming out soon. I'm not even on Sprint anymore, but I'd consider switching back for the phone. I don't even know why I care about it---I don't normally get excited about cell phones. So, you may be thinking, will my excitement translate into my FINALLY upgrading my phone, which is at least four years old, the phone that a coworker saw on my desk last week and asked me why there was an ancient cell phone on my desk? No. I'm super cheap. My phone works great, and I don't need anything fancy, and ecologically-speaking, it's better to keep using your phone rather than upgrading.

But if anyone knows of any Pres that, um, fell of the back of a truck, if you know what I mean, do let me know. Well, more like, if you know of anyone that just hates theirs and wants to give it away. I would be willing to take it off their hands.

You only thought this would be interesting instead of gross

[organ music intro]
And now, this week's installment of . . . Overshare Theater!

So, I think I have a sinus infection, which apparently you cannot defeat with just denial and self-will. Saturday, I felt like my face might actually explode. I mean, I know it’s crazy, and I knew it was a crazy-town thought when I thought it (and heaven knows, I try to stay out of Crazy Town), but I actually did think that my face may actually explode.

Thank the Lord for my trusty neti pot, and let me tell you (and here’s where the oversharing happens), the stuff that comes out of my sinuses was deeskusteeng. And colors that it isn’t supposed to be unless you’re sick. And it only made a difference to the sinus pressure for maybe 10 seconds. So Saturday, that was fun.

Then Sunday I woke up all sniffly and sneezy and gross in that way, but at least the sinus pressure was gone. So, good, I thought, it’s breaking up. And apparently it was, because Monday I woke up bone-tired and with a sore throat. So, good, I thought, it’s draining.

Yesterday I still felt tired and achy. I did have to go to the mall with my sister and my mom to buy shoes, and rr kept looking and me and suggesting to my mom that they “put me down.” She said that she just meant that I could sit somewhere while they shopped, but her face totally had a “put her out of her misery” look on it.

So today, I don't have a sore throat, but trust me when I say that I am still draining down the back of my throat, and I know this because . . . it's gross, just trust me, it's something I'm very aware of. I drank a lot of coffee today and chewed a lot of mints, is all I'm saying. And I'm wondering when all of this is just going to go away.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch . . .

So, my cat keeps throwing up hair balls. Today, he threw up two. He’s never been much for that. Sure, he has all kinds of food allergies and digestion problems, but hair balls, that was never his problem, just an occasional occurrence. Now, lately, I don’t know what’s going on. I think maybe he ate another cat or something. I don’t know where all that hair is coming from.

It's a fun thing to wake up to that in the morning. But at least today was the first time in a loooong time that I got up on time. But I still did not get to work on time (well, technically it was on time, but I consider that late) because it took me an hour and a half to get ready. If you saw me at work today, and the fabulousity I had going on (see: sarcasm), you would have wondered where all that time went. And I will tell you. I spent a lot of quality time in the bathroom with the neti pot. And still today, I had to have all that coffee. Yummy!

This concludes another thrilling installment of Overshare Theater! Join us next week when JLR talks about how huge her backside has become!

Mom smokes in the car. Jesus is ok with it, but we can’t tell Dad.

Ok, now that all the shows (except 30 Rock) have had their series premiers, I get to talk about them. Yea t.v.!

So, my thoughts, for the two of you that still read my blog.

Big Bang Theory:
Still think it’s funny. One thought, though—a little less Sheldon, please, and a little more adorable Leonard (who is the type of nerd that I would date in real life–he’s not totally devoid of social skills, he just likes sci fi and has no sense of fashion). Don’t get me wrong, the Sheldon character is funny, very funny, and the actor playing him made me laugh out loud in the season premiere. But it’s not The Sheldon Show, and I’m worried that eventually the “he just doesn’t know people at all” schtick will get old or annoying if that’s what every single episode revolves around or depends on for humor. I don’t want them to ruin my Monday night, so I hope they fix it.

Chuck.
The character of Chuck is so cute. He’s another one that I don’t get why he’s single. So cute! And so sweet! In real life, that guy would have had a girlfriend by now. Casey continues to dominate my list of fictional characters that I might like to have as friends. Yes, he's sort of crazy and yes, he will kill you in a heartbeat if it means saving the country, but he calls a spade a spade and doesn't worry about whether you'll still like him if he's honest. I think I have a bit of a crush on him. And Sarah has really grown on me. I never disliked her before, but I wasn't rooting for her. Now I think she's just as cute as Chuck in a sophisticated, nerd-at-heart kind of way. Love this show still.

Samantha Who.
I love how this show has lots of embarrassment without ever crossing the line into so awkward that I can't watch (known in my head as the "British Office line"). I’m so glad it’s back. Christina Applegate is fab-u-lous, as is everyone else on the show.

Pushing Daisies.
This show of course continues to be must-see-t.v. for me. There’s just nothing else like it on t.v. It’s quirky, it’s sweet, it’s visually stunning, it’s laugh-out-loud funny, and it’s perfectly cast. If you don’t watch this show because you think it’s too "out there," you need to adjust your boundaries. There aren’t many shows on television that can surprise you, but this one does, and it’s worth watching just for that. And Emerson Cod, he's also on my list of fictional characters I kinda want to be friends with.

Life
Still good, very excited that it’s back, but I am worried about how well it will do in the ratings. I have missed the Crews/Reese interaction. They are probably my favorite team on television, romantic or (as in their case) otherwise, even more than Ned and Chuck, Ned and Emerson, or Casey and Chuck. And in this past week’s episode, they established this season’s over-arching mystery right at the end, and I got all giddy inside in anticipation. I can’t wait to see how they play it out. If you haven't been watching the show, get the season 1 dvd and start at the beginning. It will grow on you.

And for the only new show on my t.v. watch list right now, My Own Worst Enemy.
I wasn’t sure if I was going to like this, but because it had Christian Slater, I decided to give it a chance. Who didn’t love Heathers and Pump Up the Volume as a teenager? Well, I mean, who in my age group didn’t? Those were movies of our generation. (Now, of course, I watch Pump Up the Volume and think how glad I am not to be at the age where you really think the whole world is against you. But Heathers, I don’t scoff at) And, also, though RR and I may be the only two people on the planet who would say this, I even loved Kuffs. Mr. Slater has always worked for me (although I never did see that Untamed Heart movie, and I hope I never have to). So, the show. For the few part of the show, I wasn’t sure I was going to like it. But somewhere in the middle, it got me. And caused me to swear loudly at the stupid converter box when the picture cut out for a few seconds. I will definitely be tuning back in. Several of the reviews I’ve read, people seemed to prefer Edward over Henry—not me. A man who loves his wife and kids and is happy with a life that doesn’t involve saving the world, I find that very sexy. And Christian Slater pulls that off. We already knew he could play perfectly a charming psychopath (see: Heathers), but I think I like this side of him.

Thoughts? Anyone?

In non-television related news, work is still beating me down, I have no life outside of work and television, my allergies are still making me feel like dirt, and I still don't even have time to check out my favorite websites or blog. So still nothing interesting to report. But I miss all you guys!

Over and out.

Avast! 'Tis Talk Like a Pirate Day!

Ahoy, mateys

Well, you knew I’d post something today, right? I HAVE to post on Talk Like a Pirate Day.

In honor of the occasion, I decided to make some food to take to work. I was particularly proud of the Pirates of the Carob Bean Oatmeal Bars. Not the bars themselves, the name I gave them. I just decided I needed to make something with that name and found a recipe that called for carob.

A few things about boiling carob powder, milk, and butter: it splatters, and it stinks.

I mean, a lot. Both those things a lot. It got everywhere, and then everywhere stank.

Anyway, that one wasn’t so much a success. Then I tried to make darrrk chocolate cookies, but I managed to burn them. And, oh yeah, I got my thumb caught in the mixer. At least it was a hand-held and not the Kitchen Aid, and I had a split second warning as it caught the spatula and started to roll up the handle towards me, so I managed to turn it off before it got too bad.

In other news, work is . . . meh, it’s work. I started to get caught up, but of course that didn’t last. And my close friends mostly all have left for other employment. Le sigh. Today I managed to get out of going with my boss to get barbecue at a liquor store in a questionable part of town. At a liquor store. I ask you. I’m so glad I already had plans. Besides, even if it weren’t at a liquor store, yes, I’ll say it—Texas barbecue is just not all that.

So there.

Let’s see, a lot has happened since my last post. For example: THE OLYMPICS. I love the summer olympics. USA! USA! USA!

And anyway. You know what hasn’t changed? My allergies. Still sniffling, still sneezing, still feel like someone is crushing my face in with a vice.

And now a word about the Hurricane Ike situation: all of y’all who stayed behind, you ought to be charged the cost of your rescue. I don’t want to hear anyone complaining about how you don’t have water, or you don’t have ice (as my mom said: I guess you’ll have to drink your beer warm), or you don’t have a working sewer system, or whatever. You didn’t leave. They said to leave, and you didn’t. When a storm with a size estimate of between 600 and 800 miles is bearing down on your little island, and the storm surge is expected to be about 20 feet, you GET OUT. And if you don’t, you’ve got no one else to blame but yourself. Even all the way up here in this part of the state, we were making plans for major winds and rain (and the inevitable flooding). The only ones I feel sorry for are the ones who didn’t have the money to get off the island, but even then only the ones who literally did not have enough money on hand for gas, not the ones who were thinking that hotel bills would be too pricey. ‘Cause when they say, basically, “leave or die,” isn’t sleeping in your car in a parking lot that isn’t under water an acceptable option?

TV: Yea, tv starts again next week! I know, technically it started already, but none of the shows that I watch have started up. Except CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT DYLAN IS THE FATHER OF KELLY’S BABY? Geez Louise. I didn’t even watch 90210 after the first season, I couldn’t believe how much people actually liked it now matter how stupid it was, and I still would have rather it was Brandon.

That is all.

Oh, except, go forth and celebrate the day in an appropriate fashion, me hearties.