Thursday, December 22, 2005

Oh what fun it is to ride on a World Market fold up chair

Hello, all, and Merry Christmas! I have been enjoying my break so far, although it is flying by. Of course I've been watching Christmas movies, which is awesome, as always. I still am haunted by that feeling of too much to do, too little time, but I'm working on making that go away.

RR and I did enjoy having the DYSON, but as to how well it works in comparison to other vacuums, I can’t tell you, because I forgot to vacuum with my vacuum first and then use the DYSON, so for all I know the DYSON didn’t pick up any more than my current vacuum does. But it did seem to work well, the carpet looked very nice when we were done, and we had a big ol' pile of stuff in the cannister to prove it. Unfortunately, it was not immune to the ability rr and I have to break any vacuum. The DYSON is now making an Unidentifiable Noise of Indeterminate Origin (“UNIO”). Deals assures us that it is not supposed to make that noise. In our defense, it’s not that it sucked up anything in our home that killed it—it was making that noise the first time we turned it on. But somehow, merely transporting it into our apartment was enough to do it in. I wanted to take it apart to try to figure out the problem, but rr wouldn’t let me. I wasn’t going to do anything to its insides, I just wanted to look, because maybe we could figure it out.

But she wouldn't let me.

Anyway, I would like to try the vacuum again sometime when it isn't making that noise, but I think the next time I try one, it will be my own, because I can't take the guilt of breaking another person's vacuum (especially someone who loves her vacuum so much that she practically writes poems to it). It's very upsetting.

In other news, I am cleaning my room today. I have some large trash bags and a shovel. Perhaps I should get a HazMat suit. It’s really . . . I don’t even know where to start. Papers everywhere.

My cat Gabbers has started a new habit. She likes to get in my desk chair via the end of my bed. Only she hasn’t caught on to the fact that it’s a folding chair, and when she puts all her weight on the back end of it, it slides her right off of it. And sometimes I catch her getting on the chair from my bed and rush over there to grab the end of the chair so it doesn’t fold up on her, but then I have to stand there holding the seat while she just sits on the other side and mews at me. If she doesn’t stand on the seat, then she tries to come into the chair by balancing on the teeny, tiny back of the chair, and though she’s a small cat, she’s not, you know, two-dimensional, so she doesn’t fit. It’s sad. And she keeps doing it!!!

But she’s so timid, I can’t yell at her like I do at Wally, because then she’ll be afraid of me. Already she will run out of any room if you approach her to confrontationally (i.e. walk in her direction), so if you want to get by her without startling her, you have to walk by her backwards, making sure that you don’t face her at all. This can be difficult to do sometimes. So I don’t want to make her anymore skittish, especially since rr already takes it personally, like she’s some kind of giant, cat-scaring ogre. I have many times heard her saying from the other room, in a sad, defeated voice, “that’s right, Gabby, run away from the big, scary feet!”

The other thing that has been taking up my time lately, other than humoring my cat, has been playing The Movies. I don’t think it’s everyone’s cup of tea, but I am seriously addicted. Unfortunately, I can’t play it today because I have to clean up the big mess that is my room and then do some stuff for school, but I’ll be thinking about it. Well, maybe just five minutes.

Thursday, December 15, 2005

Oh, the vacuum, she sucks, though she costs muchos bucks, that's amore

I love animals. I just love them. I always have. I would have tried to be a vet, except for my tiny little allergy problem, and the fact that I hate seeing things in pain. And the allergies. But I just love them, which is why I have two cats anyway despite the watery eyes, sneezing, and the sometimes throat scratchiness, and, as soon as I have a house with a yard, I will also have at least one dog and then any stray that shows up at my door, and, if that all goes ok, a bird.

But you can imagine that with two cats, I have a bit of an animal hair issue. That’s ok, if you love animals, you learn to make sacrifices, and what’s a little pet hair? But I do feel bad if I have visitors. Which I don’t. Because of the pet hair. How much worse would it be if I had more pets?

I have a decent vacuum, but it’s getting older and doesn’t have quite the same suck-up-the-carpet quality I used to love it for. The other day, I had a nice conversation with Deals about her new vacuum, the DYSON, which she speaks of with such awe that it is though she is speaking in all capitals when she says its name. And now I want one.

She has the DYSON that is especially for pet hair (the Animal). Apparently, the DYSON lives up to its reputation. And as much as I hate to reward people who already congratulate themselves more than is perhaps good for the soul, it seems that the DYSON guy, of the “I am so awesome and so is my vacuum” commercials, was on to something. I’d like to find out for myself.

Also apparently, Deals is going out of town for the day on Saturday. And apparently, rr had said she’d look in on “the girls” if Deals needed her to. What I wanted to know was, could we also look in on “the Animal.” Maybe we could borrow it for the day? Despite my constant prodding, rr kept “forgetting” to ask Deals because, as she explained it to me, “unlike you [snicker], it’s not that big of a priority for me.” Huh. Well, we’ll see if you feel the same way after you vacuum up mound-o-hair from the carpet, carpet that you just vacuumed with your regular vacuum. Uh-huh.

Of course, I totally would have understand if Deals had said no, because it’s always possible that the lint-roller-defying hair of our cats would prove to be too much for any one vacuum, and I don’t want to break her new toy, which she has talked about without being asked in the last two conversations I’ve had with her. Ok, once I asked. But the other time, she brought it up on her own. So she could have said no, and I wouldn’t blame her, because that baby’s expensive. But, yea, she said yes.

Maybe the vacuum won’t live up to expectations. But I am very excited to say that this weekend, I’m gonna find out.

[And while you’re at it, grab her copy of Galaxy Quest. It’s been too long since I’ve heard Sigourney Weaver say “Let’s get out of here before one of those things kills Guy.”]

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

FREEDOM!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yea! Last final done! And it wasn't awful!

Thanks to rr, Amstaff Mom, Deals, and Ben, for all your prayers. I really think they helped today. And I apologize for being all drama queenish, and I thank you for supporting me anyway.

And today I get to do some fun things like:
put away laundry!
vacuum!
shred junk mail!

That may not sound like fun to you, but it will be wonderful for me. I've spent the last few weeks fearing that there might be something living in my room without me knowing. Anytime one of my cats looked a little to interested in poking around in a pile of stuff on my floor, I would be sure that it was because something was in there. Any noise I heard while laying in bed, I'd think to myself " . . . was that rustling?" and start to panic because I just knew something was living amongst the debris. So I'd end up staring at the ceiling, concentrating very hard on determining what that sound was, and did it sound like something that might jump on me in the middle of the night, or maybe give me the plague. I mean, I'm very sanitary in that I do my dishes and I clean my bathroom and all that, but I am so messy. I have piles of books and papers stacked everywhere. And the clothes. Oh, the clothes. So today, I'm putting all that stuff away.

And while I'm doing it, I'm going to listen to Christmas music to get into the spirit of my favorite season. And I will sing it loudly. Be so thankful that you are not within hearing range.

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Ok, I’ll say one more thing about finals, and then I’ll stop complaining. Here, anyway (rr, sorry, you still have to hear about it). This is what’s so frustrating—you kill yourself all semester trying to learn something that is totally foreign to you, then, just when you think you will crack if you don’t get a break, you get to start studying for finals. So you push yourself, and when you think you can’t push yourself anymore, you have to pick yourself up from the sobbing, broken mess you’ve collapsed into and push a little more.

Then you go take the exam, and you look at it and think “I have no idea how to answer these questions. Is this even the right class?” And it’s like the professor has taken the one tiny little thing you weren’t 100% clear on and make the whole test about it. Then you have basically three hours to justify to yourself and everyone else why you spent so much time working on this and why you were even insane enough to go to law school in the first place, and all it takes is to do bad on this ONE exam, and there goes the job that you had your hopes pinned on, the job you went to law school to get in the first place. One exam. Because that one exam determines your grade in that course, and that one exam could kill your GPA

So you manage not to cry and not to have a nervous breakdown and you eat every blessed one of the animal crackers you brought with you to snack on, every single one, all in a row real fast, because you are so freaking out and don’t know what to do, and you’re wondering if now is a good time to decide that law school was a BIG mistake, a big, $125,000 in student loans mistake. Then you take a deep breath, say a quick prayer, and get through it. And walking out of there, you either (a) feel pretty good about it, or (b) feel like you got kicked in the back repeatedly. And if you feel pretty good about it [picture me walking out of my real estate transactions exam saying to myself “nailed it”! like the guy in that Washington Mutual commercial], then you hear idiots in the hall talking about it and you realize everything you forgot to talk about, and then . . . see (b), above.

And then you get to go home and start over again.

So, um, anyway, I really hate finals, and if you could just be praying for me, I’d really appreciate it, because normally I have at least one exam that I feel pretty confident about going into and coming out of, and this time I haven’t had any, and I could use a break here. The Newsboys “Lord I Don’t Know” is helping—it’s like my mantra here—but really, I could use all the help I can get. I haven’t had a nervous breakdown or anything, but it’s not pleasant walking out of an exam thinking that I really suck at my chosen profession. And having people say “oh, you did fine,” does not help, because how, exactly, do you know that I did fine? I know when I don’t know the answer to a question. If I get a good grade, it’s only because everyone else did worse than I did, and there’s no way to know that at this point. But my friend very nicely pointed out that several people looked really upset after the exam yesterday, so I’ve got that going for me.

Man, what does law school do to you, that at the end of the exam, you’re scanning the room looking for tears and suicidal expressions, and if everyone looks beat down, you do a little dance inside and think, “man, I might have a chance at this.”

But let’s end this on a positive note. I’d like to say a few words about my Black & Decker Home Café coffeemaker. It’s very plastic-y, and every time I use it, I worry a little that I’m going to break the little handle off. It’s definitely not as nice as my parents’ Keurig. The coffee is not cheap. But it’s cheaper than Starbuffee (one time the Starbucks sign had some lights out, so it read Starbu ffee, so now rr and I refer to it as starbuffee [star-boo-fee]). And it’s super fast, and no clean up! Well, except for the coffee spray it spits out (little drops all over the counter), but dirty counters really bug rr, so I don’t even have to worry about cleaning it up, because I know she’ll do it. It’s really so super fab, because I don’t even have to measure the coffee, which is good because after however many years of drinking coffee, I was never any good at it. But this thing, I just have to press a button, and presto! Coffee. It’s maaagic.

Ok, I’ve procrastinated enough, so I guess I’d better get back to studying. Oh, wait, would you look at that? I drank all my coffee. I better go make some more. That’ll take up at least . . . well, 30 seconds actually. Stupid coffee maker. But man, those counters sure look like they could use a good scrubbin’. . . .

Monday, December 12, 2005

Almost Done

Four down, one to go. Keep me in your prayers, you guys, because I'm struggling. Thanks, Deals and Am, for your encouragement! And a special thanks to rr, who is keeping me from going completely crazy.

Saturday, December 10, 2005

Three down; Two to go

I hate finals.

Here's what stresses me out about them: Finals in law school (and med school, fyi) are graded to a curve. I don't mean the way they do in undergrad, where if nobody gets above, say, 80% correct, then they adjust what an "A" score would be to somewhere in the 70s, and a "B" score to somewhere below that, etc. I mean that they take a bell curve, and throw us into it. If there are 100 people in the class, then maybe 3 to 5 are going to get an A.

So let's say you have a multiple choice test with 100 questions. In all of my past school experience, that would mean that the questions were worth 1 point a piece and you could miss 10 and get an A. So it would apply here, too, right? Not so, my friend! Your ability to get an A depends not on a quantitative score based only on how many you got correct, but rather on your ability to do better than 95 other students. If EVERYONE got 90 questions right, everyone is still not getting an A. And that means on an easy exam, the number of questions that separates an A from a C is not all that much. Because maybe an A will be in the 98-100 range, and an A- will be in the 96-97, a B+ from 93-90, a B from 85-90, and so on. Of course, I can't imagine an exam being so easy that you'd get that many right, but I have had exams that were easy enough that a few questions was all that separated the grade you wanted from the average grade (my school grades to a B curve, so most students get a B).

And to make it worse, potential employers look almost exclusively at grades, or at the very least, they weigh them heavily. So there's that added pressure.

So pretty much all the time, you have to worry about outdoing your classmates. That's difficult when the subject matter is, oh, I don't know, let's say Federal Income Tax, and, hypothetically, you've spent every class reading recaps of The Apprentice on Television Without Pity instead of paying attention. Just hypothetically. The hypothetical me would be hypothetically freaking out right about now about the exam she has on Monday and kicking herself for not trying harder to understand what they heck the professor was talking about even though she'd done all the reading but still, what is he going on about, our reading wasn't about corporate tax so why are we talking about dividends and pass-through taxation?

So sorry I haven't blogged lately. I'm too busy stress eating. I mean, hypothetically.

****
P.S. Because it really is just a sight to behold, I'm sharing with you my "study outfit" for the day, starting with my feet and on up: white socks and bright green flip-flops, very wrinkled black yoga pants that are too big for me and thus drag the ground, a powder blue long sleeve v-neck ribbed knit shirt, a long, dark blue-red "professor sweater"/cardigan (I call it that because it's what a stereotypical English professor wears in movies, really long with pockets in the front near the bottom; all that's missing is a pipe) with two missing buttons, an orange-red shawl from Ecuador, and, last but not least, a turquoise hankerchief on my head. I so clash. I think if you look directly at me, it could cause seizures. But man, am I comfortable.

Friday, December 02, 2005

Aaaaaaaand still nothing

I'm still preparing for finals, which start on Monday, and for which I am, to use an understatment, woefully underprepared. So still no posting.

But at least I'm not having the problems that Deals had this time last week.

Monday, November 21, 2005

Sorry, still no substantive posting

But even though I don't have time to write anything right now, I don't have to, because somehow Sarah Bunting has been spying on me and is writing about me . . . ok, maybe it's just a coincidence that we seem to have the same situation with our cats and our apartments. But still. It's a good read, and it's all applicable to my life as well.

Monday, November 14, 2005

A Few More Random Thoughts

Random Thought One:
I miss the radio commercial for (I think) a car battery, wherein the announcer guy's pattern of talking imitated a problem with your car:
"Is your car.Is your car. Is your car hard to start?" "Does it hes- i-tate?" "Is it looooossssiiiing poooweerrr?"
At least once a winter, rr and I have a conversation in which "Is your car.Is your car.Is your car hard to start?" features prominently.

Random Thought Two:
The other day I was talking to my friend Merry, and had this random thought: You know how in cartoons, when a character starts to run, he does that running in place thing for a few seconds before he takes off? Why is it that, whenever they make a live action movie out of a cartoon, they don't do that?

Random (but related) Thought Three:
I love that, in college, RR and one of our roommates decided to learn how to do the "cartoon walk" a la Super Friends. They practiced and practiced until they had it down pat (and it did take practice, because the walk is really counterintuitive). It was fabulous.

10 Things

I know I haven't posted in awhile, but that's only because I've been ridiculously busy and have had nothing to say. Also, my brain is still scrambled, and it takes all my concentration to remember what day it is. And I don't even do that successfully-I was so confused today when my professor said it was Monday.

So I don't have the time or the ability to post anything decent or interesting, so instead I'm passing on a random list of things I have to say:

1. A friend recently introduced me to the coolest stapler. Yes, cooler even then a red swingline. It is so choice. If you have the means, I highly recommend picking one up.

2. As the countdown to finals has begun (status check: has everyone started their outlines? If not, you are BEHIND), my immune system has begun it’s semi-annual shut-down. I had a sore throat all weekend, and now I feel nauseated. I predict that I will be carrying around a box of Kleenex with me to all my exams, as per every previous semester (except for the final in which I didn’t have a cold but did have to leave the room 3 or 4 times to throw up in what may have been the men’s restroom). In a futile attempt at the impossible (i.e. preventing illness), I have begun wiping everything down with alcohol wipes. Every doorknob looks to me to be one giant, infested pool of kill-me-now. Classmates are calling me crazy, but we’ll just see! You wait until you are sniffling and sneezing your way through a killer final, then we’ll see who’s laughing!!

3. And by the way, these scoffers are the same people who just didn’t think it was a big deal when I told them that my sis had read a study on computer labs and how disgusting they are, especially since the keyboards all had traces of feces and urine on them. So I don’t think I trust their opinions.

4. I am so not ready for finals. I have officially started to panic.

5. My apartment is m-e-s-s-y. I can’t stand to be in it. But I don’t have time to clean it. So it stresses me out. I will be studying a lot in the library this year, I think.

6. I am behind on my reading for this week because I spent Saturday studying for finals and yesterday trying to read but actually falling asleep on the couch. This was after I spent a good hour working on a jigsaw puzzle. That didn’t help me with my schoolwork, but it did give me a small sense of accomplishment, which I could use, and it keeps the mind sharp. Unfortunately, it will not help me if I get called on in class.

7. I think I’m starting to understand Income Tax. That’s a happy thought.

8. I really think that my stomach is eating itself right now.

9. I’m now stressed out because I wanted to have 10 things on my list, you know, because it seemed like a nice number, but I can’t think of 10 things. So it’s just the 9. Sorry. Oh, wait, I just had another thought.

10. I hope that everyone is doing well.

Sunday, October 30, 2005

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

I'm sending you all (via this blog) my favorite Halloween e-card. It's a perfect description of what's going on in my head every day. Be sure and play it with your volume up BUT with the door to your office closed (or at home) because otherwise people might think you are strange.

So, Have a Great Halloween, Everyone!

Friday, October 28, 2005

Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Week

Worst Week Ever.

Picture the comic book guy from The Simpsons saying that, because that's what keeps going through my head. That, and "The Turkey in the Straw."

It wasn't actually the worst week ever. No one died, I didn't crash my car, my apartment didn't burn down, etc. But it was an incredibly exhausting yet unproductive week, and now I am so behind in school that I'm starting to panic. But I have talked to other 3Ls, and apparently, they are in the same situation--burnout. We are all experiencing a mild panicking sensation in the back of our minds but still find ourselves not actually getting any work done.

But at least the school week is over. I'm so tired I could barely drag myself into class this morning, and I'm seeing the work day is going to be full of moments when I realize I've just been staring into space, but at least I have a weekend full of studying to look forward to.

No, really, I'm looking forward to it. Because then maybe I can catch up and not be so freaked out. That's right, baby! This weekend, Federal Income Tax Law, it's just you and me! Well, and laundry. Just Federal Income Tax, laundry, and me!

Monday, October 24, 2005

No Sleep 'Til Brooklyn

And by Brooklyn, I mean Wednesday. And I thought the last time I'd be pulling an all-nighter was in undergrad. But, alas, 'tis not the case. I'm kinda in the weeds here, so I'll be not posting anything until at least the weekend and possibly not until the next one, unless by some miracle I become un-swamped before then.

I know, you are all so disappointed.

Friday, October 21, 2005

If you were planning on escaping from the bad guys

using your special, super-hero getaway vehicle, equipped with special escape-from-villains technology, steer clear of North Carolina. They take a dim view of such shenanigans.

North Carolina General Statutes, chapter 20.
§ 20 136. Smoke screens.
(a) It shall be unlawful for any person or persons to drive, operate, equip or be in the possession of any automobile or other motor vehicle containing, or in any manner provided with, a mechanical machine or device designed, used or capable of being used for the purpose of discharging, creating or causing, in any manner, to be discharged or emitted, either from itself or from the automobile or other motor vehicle to which attached, any unusual amount of smoke, gas or other substance not necessary to the actual propulsion, care and keep of said vehicle. . . .

Monday, October 17, 2005

What is going on with me, anyway?

I’m looking a little frazzled today. I stayed up way too late last night watching the Walker, Texas Ranger t.v. movie that was filmed in Dallas (the only reason I was watching it). Then this morning, I was awakened before it was time for to get up by a car in the street outside my apartment honking his horn. Finally, my neighbor went outside and yelled at him that people were trying to sleep, which he didn’t like, prompting him to yell, I’m not kidding, “don’t make me kill you, white bitch.” I’m not sure who he was honking at, but he drove off after that, so I hope no one was counting on him for a ride. I was very irritated, because I really need every minute of sleep I can get.

I made coffee for myself to take to school, but then promptly left it at home. I couldn’t drink it while I was getting ready for school because I woke up nauseated, so I had sprite instead. So I had to wait until I go to work to get coffee.

Speaking of coffee, last week I threw what was left in my mocha in the trash but forgot to put the trash in the hall and forgot that the cleaning staff doesn't have a key to my office. So on Sunday I got to play, "what's that smell," a.k.a. "find the funk." There's just nothing like the smell of milk gone bad greeting you as you walk in the door.

Last week was a spectacular display of absent-mindedness on my part, and I hope that the coffee-leaving isn’t a sign that it’s continuing into this week. Last week, I managed to lose my keys and not find them for two days. RR had to drive me to school and pick me up. Then on another day I left my books at home. RR even stopped me as I was walking out the door and pointed out the books that I had left on our entry-way table (in order to remind me to take them). Not only did I tell her that I didn’t need them because they weren’t for my classes that day (this despite the fact that I was rushing around to leave in time for my early class, so clearly I did know what class I was going to), I gave her a run-down on why I brought them home in the first place, a story that didn’t make any sense, and I knew it didn’t make sense as it was coming out of my mouth. But the fact that I couldn’t give a rational explanation for them being there didn’t prompt to realize that I did need them, until I got to school. RR brought me my books. Seriously, she was the only thing holding me together. Then yesterday, I relayed to my mom something my dad had said, and then she looked at me funny and said, “I said that.” See? What is going on with me? My mom chalked it up to stress and “burning the candle at both ends,” which it probably is, but since that’s not going to stop anytime soon, I’m not sure what to do about it.

On the upside, I did finally go walking at the rec center last night. As predicted, I walked for an hour and 15 minutes, and would have walked longer if I hadn’t needed to get home to tape Walker for rr. VH1 was playing Top 100 One Hit Wonders, and I mean really, who wouldn’t want to watch that? For the record, I love Big Country, and I really miss New Wave.

Friday, October 14, 2005

This & That

I don't have any one thing that would make an interesting post, so I'm just throwing a bunch of stuff together.

(1) I have developed a serious affinity for clif bars, and in particular the Peanut Toffee Buzz flavor. So yummy.

Image hosted by Photobucket.com

No Trans Fat!

(2) Last night I saw my favorite Simpson's episode of all time, which also happens to be one of my favorite episodes of any show ever. It's the Cape Feare episode. So classic. In my mind, it ranks up there with my favorite episode of Everybody Loves Raymond, in which Patricia's Heaton's character utters the fabulous line that's true, I think, in every marriage: "If smells bothered me, I'd have left him a looong time ago."

(3) I'm going to lunch with a friend today, but all I can think about is a clif bar.

(4) I seriously hate 4 out of 5 of my classes. They are painfully boring. I mean, I actually have to bite my tongue to keep from standing up, yelling "That's IT! I cannot take this anymore!" and running out. It's a miracle that I'm still going to class at this point.

(5) I'm extremely excited about going to the gym this weekend. The new rec center has t.v.'s for each individual treadmill (so I'm told), and the t.v.'s have cable. This was true of my old gym, and I would walk for hours at a time (I don't have cable at home, because I would watch it for hours at a time). Yea! I might actually get in shape, provided I ever actually make it over there. It's all the way across campus, and I don't like to mingle with the undergrads. If you went to school here, you'd understand why.

That's all, folks! It's about time for me to start preparing for exams, so the posts will get progressively more boring as the semester goes on. I apologize in advance.

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

I hated it so much that...flames. flames. flames on the side of my face, heaving, breaths--

Ok, so a few weekends again, I had to get my car inspected. Because my car is so old, and because I can't afford to fix anything if there's something actually wrong with it, I can't take it to just any place. I always take it to this place near my apartment where they only do inspections, and where I'm pretty sure every car passes. Although they turn my car on, I can't even be sure that they are actually running any tests on it.

So anyway, I'm sitting there in the waiting area, where there is a television. The television is on. I don't know why, but when I'm at those places, I don't feel like I have the right to change the channel, or even turn down the volume, so I usually get stuck watching something like NASCAR or golf. On that day, I would have killed for NASCAR. Instead, they were showing Saturday morning children's programming. And that's when I found out about Lazy Town.

You know how sometimes, something just rubs you the wrong way, so much so that you actually become angry, without really knowing why? You just go straight past irritated and right into "if I could hit something right now, I would?" That was pretty much my reaction to this show. I wanted to scream. And keep screaming, until I passed out.

Apparently, the premise of the show is that there's this town of idiot puppets and their hero is some french guy named Sporticus. The other two non-puppet characters are some pink-haired girl who nods a lot and an incredibly stereotypical villain. Let me stop right there and say that I don't like puppets. Well, muppets are cool. But typically, puppets creep me out. This was no exception. Furthermore, the hero is this big strong FRENCH guy? When was the last time a french guy was (a) healthy, or (b) standing up for anyone? And what's with the mustache? If you're trying to do away with french stereotypes, how about starting with appearances?

Anyway, so in this episode, apparently the writers of the show have rejected the spinach=strong teachings of Popeye and have instead embraced carrots=strong. That's right. Eat carrots and develop incredible strength and the ability to throw carrots with expert precision. Eat carrots and immediately feel better!

Anyway, so the villain of the show decided to pretend to be a doctor to convince everyone that carrots are bad for you and that Sporticus should be sent away. Because he puts on a white lab coat and one of those metal reflector looking things doctors used to wear on his head, everyone buys it. Anway, the show winds up with Sporticus figuring it out and saving the day. I think the thing that bothered me the most was that no one recognized the bad guy until he took off the little metal thing on his head.

Also, I think there may have been a song in there somewhere.

So, yeah, I hated it.

Monday, October 10, 2005

Halloween 1997

I love Halloween. I absolutely love it. There's just something about the decorations, and the getting dressed up, and the . . . ok, ok, it's the free candy, alright? I get very excited about it.

RR and I have always enjoyed it. Well, mostly always. Certainly for the last 10 years or so. I'll go into details about why before that was kind of hit or miss in another post.

Halloween 1997 was a good Halloween. RR and I decided to go a party. But not just any party. An enormous block party. We decided we'd dress up for it.

I decided to go as Little Red Riding Hood. I had the costume left over from a previous Halloween, and it beat my "Halloween costume" t-shirt. It also seemed to go with my hair, which I had recently dyed a perfectly lovely shade of magenta, and which had settled into a very dark color indeed. Going with the children story theme, RR decided to go as Gretel (as in Hansel and), again partly because she had a dress that would work for it.

On that night, someone snapped our picture, which is one of the few pictures with me in it that I actually like. I like it for a number of reasons. For one thing, RR and I look genuinely happy and don't have that stupid fake smile pasted on our faces. RR also looks extraordinarily tan, which she certaily was not in real life. I was pretty thin at the time (before the middle-aged weight gain I'm experiencing now), but that doesn't account for the fact that my stalk-like ankles look so trim and dainty in the picture. Also, for some reason, I am wearing rr's shoes, and she is wearing mine.

I also like the picture because it captured an era in our lives. No fancy furniture in our first apartment, no sir. We had true college student furnishings. In the picture you can see the chair and ottoman that had been in our family for a long time. The chair was missing a leg and would tilt and unceremoniously dump you on the floor if you weren't careful. In that chair my friend Kara would balance precariously and sit for extended periods of time, holding my cat Wally like a baby--the only time before or since that he has ever consented to be held like that. In front of that chair are my "cut boots"--the boots I would wear to Bonfire cut ("cut" is when you would go out into the woods and chop down the trees; "stack" is when you build the Bonfire--we Aggies don't go for creativity in naming things).

You can also see the interesting couch that we got from a coworker of my mom. We needed a sofa after hils moved out and took her far more interesting-looking couch with her. This sofa was huge and quite comfortable. Next to the sofa was our cheap table from Wal-mart that served as our end table. This is exactly the same type of table that BF/R accidentally lit on fire once, a fact which we hid from rr for some time for fear that she would take away our candles (she did).

On the wall behind us, you can see the one tiny picture that we hung up on the wall as our only decoration. It looked woefully out of place. And my favorite thing of all is what you can only see if you look very closely; in the picture it looks like a very small dark spot in the wall. RR was taking French and German and decided that she needed to improve her vocabulary, so she labeled almost everything in the apartment with index cards. On the card would be the French, German, and for good measure, Spanish word for that thing. On the wall behind us, you can sort of see the card for sofa/sofá/sofa/divan.

I love this picture so much that I'm willing to share it--only not with our faces in it (see previous post about introverts and being a very private person).

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Friday, October 07, 2005

State Fair: Round 1

I have to say that tonight I had The.Best.Time.Ever. RR and I went to the fair.

Weather-wise, it couldn't have been more perfect. Cool but not cold. Also, it wasn't too terribly crowded, the way it usually is when we go during the day.

First items on the menu: Chicken biscuit and cheddar sweet potato fries. [for review of food items, see RR's blog].

Then we went and got Fletcher's corny dogs. RR has a friend who said hers was disappointing this year, but I gotta say, mine was muy delicioso.

Then we went on the Midway and watched the Killdares, who I wanted to see last year but didn't get a chance.

Then we got to see the last part of the parade. I was unhappy about the blockbuster signage everywhere, but other than that, it was wonderfully cheesy. My favorite part (other than the the world-champion Gymnast in a Wheel)? The Shriners, of course. They play musical instruments.

After that we bought our birthday fudge (every year we buy fudge from this one stand and freeze it, and then we eat it on our birthday--it freezes very well).

Then we walked back and sat on the steps of the Hall of State and watched the last part of an incredible sunset. We didn't want to wait around for the laser light show, although I had never seen it, and we were not yet uncomfortably full, and we didn't want to waste the room in our stomachs (hey, don't judge--the fair comes but once a year). We walked down to the Desperado's stand but then decided we didn't have enough room to do justice to the Desperados Tacos (we love those tacos), so we walked back towards the Hall of State for some fried cheesecake.

By that time, the laser light show had started, so we ate our cheesecake and saw a little of the lights and fireworks. I got to hear them play that classic rock station staple "Dream Weaver," which I love (I know, but I love it, so shut up). Then we beat it out of there before the dancing hamster song came on, because let's face it, if that gets stuck in your head, it pretty much stays for days.

*sigh*

The only thing that could have made it better would have been if our regular fair buddy could have gone, too. I never had me a better time, and I guess I never will.

Thursday, October 06, 2005

I missed my chance

I am so sad that on October 4, nobody asked me what the date was. I waited all day. But nobody asked. So I didn't get to say, "10-4, good buddy."

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

Tagging Along

I was tagged by Amstaff Mom.

The instructions are as follows:

1. Go into your archives.
2. Find your 23rd post.
3. Post the fifth sentence or closest to it.
4. Post the text of the sentence in your blog along with these instructions.
5. Tag 5 other people to do the same.

"We like Raul."

Like RR, I don't know 5 people who have not been tagged. If any of the lurkers would post comments (you know who you are!), then maybe I would. But I don't.


Monday, October 03, 2005

If You Don't Get Fat at the Fair, You Just Aren't Trying Hard Enough

RR received an email today about new food items at the Fair this year. She forwarded it to me, saying "This list will save us some time. We've got a lot of work to do." We are so on the same page on this one.

If you are interested, here is the list. Note the prevalence of the word "fried."

Awesome Bread Pudding Wrap: Special-recipe bread pudding with rum sauce gently wrapped in a flour tortilla. Flash-fried, it's dusted with a combination of cinnamon and sugar and then frozen. Final product is finished in deep fryer, oven or microwave. Located in various Newport Concession stands (look for the yellow t-shirts) throughout the grounds.

Chicken Tender'n Biscuit: Extra-crunchy chicken, fresh from the fryer and nestled inside a hot butter-basted biscuit, is served with a side of warm spiced honey dipping sauce. At the Dock Restaurant, inside the Embarcadero.

Country Fried Pork Chop Sandwich: Crispy-fried and breaded, this boneless pork chop cutlet is sandwiched between two slices of savory onion bread and served with assorted dressings and a pickle spear, Southern-style. Located at Fernie's Funnel Cake stand across from The Old Mill Inn near Big Tex.

Fried Apple Taco: Appetizing Mexican pastry overflowing with apples and sprinkled with cinnamon dust right out of the fryer. Available at two locations - inside the Coca-Cola Food Court at Benavides Mexican Food and on Funway Street in the Midway, close to the bumper cars.

Fried Coconut Coated Pineapple Rings: Newly manufactured product consisting of silver dollar sized pineapple slices, lightly battered with a coconut breading. Deep fried to perfection, sprinkled with powdered sugar and topped with whip crème, a cherry and a tiny paper umbrella! Located in upper Gateway Plaza.

Fried Italian Meatballs: Delicious Italian-style meatballs battered and fried to a golden brown; plump and juicy inside, and crunchy on the outside. The meatballs are served with a side of dipping sauce. Located on Cotton Bowl Plaza at Bert's Burgers.

Fried PBJ and Banana Sandwich: An old favorite kicked up a notch for the State Fair! A carefully made peanut butter, jelly and banana sandwich, that's frozen, dipped in a special batter, quick fried and dusted with powdered sugar. A delicious hot-and-cold sensation! Located outside the Embarcadero on Nimitz Dr.

Fried Strawberry Empanada: These deep-fried, rolled flour tortillas hold a yummy strawberry filling and are finished with a dusting of powdered sugar. Located in the Thrillway section of the Midway.

Going Bananas: Regular & sugar-free Banana Pudding, Banana Splits, Bananas Foster, Coconut Banana Cream Pie, Rum Raisin Banana Cake and Old-Fashioned Bread Pudding with Caramel Banana or Raspberry Sauce. Also, Turkey Salad Sandwiches on a Roll, Turkey Taco Salads in a Tortilla Bowl, Italian Panini Sandwiches and Brownies. Located inside the Coca-Cola Food Court (Tower Building).

Nutter Nana Sandwich: A new spin-off from last year's success, banana filling is sandwiched between fried Nutter Butter® cookies, then battered and deep fried. Located in the Midway near Guest Relations.

Pappy's Strawberries, Cream and Cake: Real strawberries and real strawberry juice are poured over ice-cold special cakes filled with vanilla cream or chocolate. On top? Sweet whipped cream and shaved chocolate bits. Located across from the Old Mill Inn near Big Tex at Proud Pappy's Pretzels.

Potato Crisps: Fresh-cut spirals of Idaho potatoes, fried, and then scrumptiously dusted with vanilla and creamy powdered sugar. Located on the lagoon-end of Cotton Bowl Plaza at Benz Foods.

Rio Grande Chicken: Meticulously seasoned and oven baked to a golden hue. Located in Cotton Bowl Plaza at the Cajun Gourmet stand.

Steak Salad: Grilled Philly steak tossed with mixed greens and tomato to make a deliciously different salad. Located at the Tower Steak Shop in the Coca-Cola Food Court inside the Tower Building.

Stuffed Baked Plantains: Baked and stuffed with peanut butter, island spices and topped with marshmallows. Located at the Coca-Cola Food Court inside the Tower Building at the Texas Caribbean Foods stand.

Sweet Potato Fries: Piping-hot sweet potato fries sprinkled with Lawry's seasoned salt, covered in shredded cheddar cheese and broiled to perfection. Brown sugar and cayenne pepper are dusted on the fries followed by a topping of crumbled bacon. Served with a side of Ranch dipping sauce, sweet potato fries are available at the Dock Restaurant, inside the Embarcadero Building on Nimitz Dr.

Taco Twister: A cone-shaped corn tortilla filled with either taco filling or fajitas, mixed with lettuce and topped with sour cream and guacamole. Makes a delightful walk-around meal! Located in the Midway on Funway Street near the bumper cars.

Texas Crab Cakes: Handmade and pan or deep-fried like their Maryland counterparts. Located on Cotton Bowl Plaza or Nimitz Drive at the Cajun Gourmet stand.

Vegas Fried Ice Cream: Combination peanut butter/bananas/and rock 'n' roll in a tasty fried ice cream ball. Topped with a special banana pie sauce, it's accompanied by a guitar-shaped buñuelo striped with peanut butter. So good it'll make your leg start a-shakin'! Located on Funway in the Midway close to the Lost Children Shelter.

White Chocolate Bread Pudding: Generous chunks of fresh French bread soaked in a creamy custard of rich white chocolate and baked until golden brown. Hefty portions are served warm and drenched in a white chocolate cream sauce. Available at the Dock Restaurant inside the Embarcadero Building.

Friday, September 30, 2005

Oh, one of those days

It’s that kind of day. Today I was later to work than I wanted to be because
(i) this morning on my drive to school, my purse fell over and my cell phone slid out, and I forgot to look for it, so then when I got in my car to go to work I remembered and had to hunt around for it; and
(ii) whilst waiting to cross the street, I stood there for several minutes until I realized that the little walk man, or as jes corrected me, the non-gender-specific walking figure, was never going to appear, because I’d never pressed the button. I’m glad I finally realized it. Otherwise, I might still be standing there.

When I was getting ready to leave this morning, I realized that I had forgotten to read for class. How do you forget to read for class? I don’t know the answer to that, but it happened yesterday, too.

I also had a law review incident wherein now I will have to be the bad guy and cause several people not to like me because of their own general incompetence, which I hate. I mean, I don’t mind people not liking me, but I hate it when someone does something wrong, and then they turn on the person who calls them on it. Grr. Why can’t we all just get along?

Then I got to work and, thinking today was Monday, started to ask jes how her weekend was. When I told her that, she didn’t laugh at me, but just gave me a look and told me that her weekend was fine.

And I have gotten exactly two things done today because I can’t focus. Let’s face it, I would rather be (i) shopping for new fall clothes, or (ii) shopping for new fall shoes, or (iii) AT THE FAIR.

Calling Out Your Name

As far as I’m concerned, we don’t sing enough hymns these days. I do like praise music, but there is something very powerful to me about the old hymns. What can I say--in that single respect, I'm old fashioned. I’m a Bible church girl, so mostly I get praise music (and don’t get me started on skits!). I’m ok with that (except for the skits), but I really, really wish we could everyonce in a while go “old school.”

That being said, I would sing songs by Rich Mullins every Sunday if given the opportunity. For some reason today, when I was walking back from Starbucks with my friend kk (who is one of the sweetest, smartest, best Christian women in the world, such a wonderful person and friend, and I really wish some guy who actually deserves her would realize that), and “Calling Out Your Name” popped into my head. I love this song. It is probably my favorite song in the world. I do not think we give him enough credit for the powerful, amazing songs he created.

Anyway, I thought I’d pass it along.

Calling Out Your Name
Rich Mullins

Well the moon moved past Nebraska
And spilled laughter on them cold Dakota Hills
And angels danced on Jacob's stairs
Yeah, they danced on Jacob's stairs
There is this silence in the Badlands
And over Kansas the whole universe was stilled
By the whisper of a prayer
The whisper of a prayer


And the single hawk bursts into flight
And in the east the whole horizon is in flames
I feel thunder in the sky
I see the sky about to rain
And I hear the prairies calling out Your name

I can feel the earth tremble
Beneath the rumbling of the buffalo hooves
And the fury in the pheasant's wings
And there's fury in a pheasant's wings
It tells me the Lord is in His temple
And there is still a faith
That can make the mountains move
And a love that can make the heavens ring
And I've seen love make heaven ring

Where the sacred rivers meet
Beneath the shadow of the Keeper of the plains
I feel thunder in the sky
I see the sky about to rain
And I hear the prairies calling out Your name

From the place where morning gathers
You can look sometimes forever 'til you see
What time may never know
What time may never know
How the Lord takes by its corners this old world
And shakes us forward and shakes us free
To run wild with the hope
To run wild with the hope

The hope that this thirst will not last long
That it will soon drown in the song
Not sung in vain
And I feel thunder in the sky
I see the sky about to rain
And I hear the prairies calling out Your name

Today's the Day

STATE FAIR, BABY!!!!!!!

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

It's not that I don't like you, I just don't want to be around you

So the other day, Jes and I were discussing whether or not bee and I would be going to the fair with the big group. I said something to jes about how all that extroversion might be too much for me, and that it might overwhelm me and tire me out. Jes, I hope you weren’t offended. I can see why that sounded like an insult, but it’s wasn’t. I just meant that I'm not an extrovert.

Anyway, the conversation got me thinking about introversion versus extroversion. In our culture, there’s a definite bias towards being extroverted. People are always encouraged to go out, mix with others, socialize, and so on. The thing is, that attitude necessarily implies that there’s something wrong with being introverted, that it’s an abnormality, that it should be discouraged, or at the very least, the introverted person would be so much happier if she’d just get out more. This can be a problem for introverted children whose teachers and parents don’t understand. Basically, it’s a one-sided approach—it’s the attitude that “fun” is only what the extrovert considers fun, and that’s the kind of “fun” that the introvert needs more of.

So I started looking around on the internet, and it turns out that (according to most sources I found) most people are extroverted, and it’s pretty difficult for extroverts to understand introverts. So I decided to take a few minutes to point out a few things for those of you just can’t understand us.

First of all, forget the generalization that introversion is synonymous with shyness. The terms introversion and extroversion actually refer to the source of our energy. If you are an extrovert, you get your energy from the world outside of you and feel drained when you go too long without being around others. Introverts, on the other hand, get their energy from within and feel drained when they have to deal with a lot of people. So basically, you, the extrovert, like going to social gatherings because they energize you. But for introverts, social interaction is a draining experience. It’s not that we don’t enjoy it, it just tires us out. Obviously, this situation can create problems when extroverts and introverts try to socialize together. As one website put it, “Both like people, but the Introvert prefers the intimacy of talking in depth with a few people, and then tires rather quickly. The Extravert is gregarious and enjoys meeting a lot of different people, and feel energized by the experience. Half way through the evening the Introvert wants to go home; the Extravert wants to stay, and in fact would like to go on to another party after this one.” [see http://www.trytel.com/~jfalt/Ene-med/e-i.html]

Let me reiterate: despite overwhelming public perception, introversion is not the same as shyness. But introverts are often uncomfortable going to a social event where they don’t know anyone—which is why, if you are the only person I know at a party, I will stick to you like glue and panic when you wander off.

Of course, a lot of people exhibit characteristics of both. When I’m around a small group of close friends, for example, I’m the chattiest person in the bunch, and I have a great time and don't get that tired.

Some Characteristics of Introverts:
· Are territorial - desire private space and time
· Have two personas -- private and public
· Are private people who enjoy doing things by themselves and who reveal inner most thoughts to only a few
· Are happy to be alone - they can be lonely in a crowd
· Become drained around large groups of people; dislike attending parties; Need time alone to recharge
· Prefer to work on own rather than do group work
· Act cautiously in meeting people
· Do not enjoy being the center of attention [I cannot stress this enough]
· See reflection as very important
· Become absorbed in thoughts and ideas
· Communicate best one-on-one
· Get agitated and irritated without enough time alone or undisturbed—become grouchy if around people too long, especially after contact with many people
· Select activities carefully and thoughtfully
· Rarely interrupt and hate to be interrupted
· Learn by watching and mentally rehearsing
· Are humiliated easily -- they do not want to appear foolish

And speaking of not being the center of attention, it’s also stressful for this particular introvert (and others that I’ve talked to) to be with an extrovert in public if the extrovert is doing something to attract attention to himself, because that indirectly attracts attention to the introvert, who really, really, really doesn’t want it. It’s different if I’m with one or two close friends—I will often monopolize the conversation.

And maybe some of you extroverts out there can explain something to me. Often when I have been subjected to too much concentrated attention from others, I will blush because I’m very uncomfortable. And then, some ill-mannered person inevitably thinks it’s a good idea to point out that I’m blushing. So even more attention is focused on me. Un!Comfortable! Why do you do that? And especially, why do you laugh at my obvious discomfort? I don’t understand that at all.

So what’s my point in talking about this? Well, I guess I don’t have one, except that if you are an extrovert, I hope you found this post helpful, and not just really long and boring.

Monday, September 26, 2005

4 days until the fair!!!

This year, in addition to the corny dog eating contest, the State Fair will also host a jalapeno eating contest (Sunday, Oct. 23--the last day of the fair), as well as a qualifying round for the 2005 Krystal Square off World Hamburger Eating Championship on Sunday, Oct. 2, at 1pm.

Friday, September 23, 2005

Check it out!

Despair, Inc. has released the first four designs of the new 2006 calendar. Here are three of them:

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And my favorite of the new ones so far:
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Thursday, September 22, 2005

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

If you behave, there will be cake for the miscreants we call your brothers

Because I can my brain is operating on low battery today, I decided to let someone else write for me—ye olde Surrealist Compliment Generator. I decided to compose a love letter using the SCG’s suggestions. Please, feel free to use it to woo the mate of your choice.

Madam, what a handsome moustache you wear! Woods nymphs sprinkle your path with bowling balls while you dance and prowl in the sequined moonlight with leftover heads of lettuce. Your intelligence is equal to the smoothness of a walnut shell.

Be still, my love, my watermelon rind. I am consumed with your collection of agile fans and pocked blades. Your legs are like threads of cotton, though much thicker, and filled with weevils [that’s one of my personal favorites]. Your nasal hair speaks volumes concerning the Isle of Wright.

Onerous congratulations on your conceptual development of obliteration concerning telephones, lobsters and fish! The phase of your hallucinations reminds me of those balmy days when the championship mould was breeding, when the fish were long, and so were the valued floats of men we drank through narrow straws...

Bleed me! My memory is fried with your pork! Suffer, for you are toasting the Marzipan!.. (..and may I upon pretense ring latent tintinabulations for your Andalusian raisins!)

You are the swordfish that will never shower [another family favorite].

Love,
[insert your name here]

For extra fun, I decided to bring back the fun we had with translating. I translated the above into German, and then into French and then back into English. Just when you thought it could not get any stranger:

woman, the EC what imposing Moustache to carry you! Of Holznymphen sprinkle your manner with of Bowlingspielkugeln, while you dance and of Prowl in Moonlight with the other heads of salad of head sequined. Your intelligence is even with the regularity of a higher part.

If you are nor, my loves, my bovine of watermelon. I am used with your accumulation of mobile ventilators and sheets pocked. Your legs are like wire of the cotton, although much more strongly, and filled with beetles of trunk. Your hair nasal speaks the expenditure are the island of Wright.

The telephones, Hummer is importunate congratulations on your development of concept obliteration and the fish! * it it phase with your Hallucinations to point out to me this balmy day, when it forms it to raise, when the long fish and thus to evaluate it and to move them of the man, that us by narrow Strohe... to drink

purge me! My memory is roast with your pigmeat! suffer, because you roast Marzipan!.. * (..a. to be able I after latent tintinabulations pretenseringes for your Andalusian Rosinen!)

They are the fish of sword which never shower [that one is actually pretty close!].

Monday, September 19, 2005

Get!Out!

Check out what day today is.

11 days, baby!

The State Fair starts in 11 days. That's right!

In anticipation, I visited the state fair website, and I have to take issue with the press release regarding the ABC so-called "Fun in the Sun" tour of their daytime soap "stars." In particular, I take issue with this statement: "Fans of "General Hospital" will enjoy meeting Scott Clifton." I'm not a fan of General Hospital, but I think it's a bit presumptuous to assume that if I were a fan, I'd automatically enjoy meeting "Dillon." Maybe I think that "Dillon" is a tool.

I am in a fabulous mood today. Fabulous.

I am not sure why. Maybe it’s because it's a work day so I get to see jes. Maybe it’s because I remembered to bring fingerless gloves to work so that my fingers don't get frostbite in this, the Arctic Circle.

But I think it’s just one of those days.

[warning—I’m about to go off on a tangent and show what a reverse snob I am]

In other news, I wore a fake Gucci watch today. Oh, excuse me—timepiece. I wore a fake Gucci timepiece today. Of course, I would never buy a real Gucci watch, and I don’t wear this one in the hopes that someone will think it’s real. If someone I’m friends with were to comment on it, I’d hastily assure him or her that it’s fake. So why do I wear it? Well, it’s pretty, for one thing. Also, it's fun wearing something that your mother bought from a guy selling watches in the street.

But more than that, I like to play “Spot the Judgmental Loser.” There are a lot of shallow, materialistic people out there, particularly at my school. And it’s fun to see who will suddenly be impressed with me now that I am wearing name-brand accessories.

The irony is not lost on me that I am judging people for being judgmental. In fact, irony is rarely lost on me. Take last Tuesday, for example, as I watched The Biggest Loser while stuffing my face with chocolate.

Anyway, I know I shouldn’t be judging these people, but laughing at them keeps me from despising them. Because it scares me that these people, who know nothing of life outside “the Bubble,” will one day be attorneys. Being a lawyer gives you tremendous power to do good things, and it saddens me to think of these people passing up that opportunity. I try to take a page from my friend kk’s book and not think badly of them. But because my natural inclination is to hope that horrible, bad things happen to them and that they die penniless, friendless, and alone, it’s a little hard to work myself into actually liking them. The best I can do is just laugh at them, and maybe feel sorry for them a little bit. These people don’t know what they’re missing because they make all of their lives about things.

But I digress. Despite the lecture from atop my soap box--I’m in a fabulous mood. I’m going to enjoy this beautiful day and thank God that I have a job and friends and school and so many wonderful opportunities, and thank Him for letting me have the life that I have, as imperfect as it may be. Go out today and do good things! You’ll be glad you did.

Saturday, September 17, 2005

Friday, September 16, 2005

My Week of Living Veganously

Every once in a while, RR and I get crazy ideas. You know, ideas that are “just so crazy, it might work,” type crazy. Usually they do not actually work. That does not deter us. I see that as a good thing. We take a lickin’ and keep on tickin’, and it’s people like that, that make the world go round, people like that who make things happen, and people like that who figure out how to get keyboards working again after being doused in coffee.

This week’s crazy idea was to go vegan. RR and I, despite our terrible eating habits (and I mean, terrible to an embarrassing degree), do have aspirations to being those annoyingly healthy people who bring carrot sticks to movie-watching parties—and just carrot sticks (or something akin), not carrot sticks AND queso AND cookies. So periodically, we force ourselves to be semi-healthy for a short period of time. Also, in general, I eat far more dairy than any one person should (and visions of diverticulitis danced in her head). This week, I thought to myself, surely it would be good for us to eschew meat and dairy, if just for a week?

Probably it would have been, but of course we’ll never know, because I cannot be vegan. I’m not buying the special bread that is not made with whey, if such a thing exists. I’m just not. But I did decide that I could give up cheese and milk—well, plain milk. I wasn’t going to avoid things that had milk in them—I wasn’t giving up the dairy for ethical reasons, but only because I have too much dairy in my diet. Anyway.

It.was.so.hard.

Sunday: Had coffee at parents’ house (they have nondairy creamer). Had Amy’s Organic Rice and Beans Burrito (non-dairy) for lunch and dinner.

Monday: Had to wait to get coffee until I got to work because did not have nondairy creamer at home as that stuff is gross and I will not have it in my house. Jes noticed me pouring the powdery stuff into my coffee and asked me if I was lactose intolerant, thus confirming my belief that I was not going to be able to avoid explaining to people my weird goal for the week. Had peanut butter sandwich and fruit for lunch and Amy’s non-dairy enchiladas for dinner.

Tuesday: Forgot lunch, had to buy lunch from school eating establishment, which consisted of a grilled vegetable sandwich. [My friend (and fellow cheese lover) asked why I couldn’t just have a sandwich, or any of the salads with cheese on them.] Picked off most of the vegetables and just ate the croissant and potato chips, thus confirming my belief that I was trading one bad eating habit for another. Clearly if I wasn’t eating meat and cheese, I was eating everything else--I never eat potato chips.

Amy’s non-dairy enchiladas for dinner. The worst part of the day was the no coffee (no nondairy creamer at home and the closest school establishment selling coffee and providing nondairy creamer doesn’t take cash or accept credit cards for purchases of less than $3). I had to compensate with DP—which I love, but not first thing in the morning. Sugar in the morning, bad.

Wednesday: Another DP morning. Sandwich at lunch was damp (?!!), so ate ritz crackers and m&ms instead. Had soup for dinner.

Thursday: I cracked. Walked to Starbucks and bought a non-fat, with-whip mocha. Had PIZZA for dinner with extra cheese. OD’ed on M&Ms.

Today (Friday): Repentant. Am currently drinking coffee with nondairy creamer. Blueberry muffin for breakfast (actually, just the top of one). PB sandwich for lunch. Soup will be dinner.

Unsurprisingly, after five days as a quasi-vegan, I don’t feel any healthier.

Monday, September 12, 2005

18 Days Until the Fair!

Items to note:

The birds of the world exhibits starts daily at 1pm, 2:30, 4:30, and 6pm.

The corndog eating contest is on October 9.

The Dallas Historical Society is hosting an exhibit in the Hall of State. The exhibit is about Elvis. I don't think I need to say anything more to inspire you to go to the fair.

But in case that's not enough for you, the butter sculpture this year is Elvis.

Also in the Hall of State, there will be live performances of the music if legendary bluesman Blind Lemon Jefferson.

Thursday, September 08, 2005

Dallas Area Animal Lovers--Take Note

City Pet Rescue (CPR) desperately need foster homes for homeless animals! CPR is a local non-profit, no-kill animal rescue organization. While there is always a need for foster homes, the need is even greater after Katrina because there is an influx of incoming animals from the hurricane area. Local animal shelters desperately need all rescue groups to take cats, kittens, dogs and pups, of all sizes. CPR needs foster homes for these animals. Please email Sara Schryvers (schryve@smu.edu) if you are interested in learning about fostering or any other way that you can help. This is an easy and fun way to help victims of Katrina.

Monday, September 05, 2005

The First Installment of the Impatient Chicken Movie Quote Quiz

Ok, folks, here it is. The movie quote quiz that I promised a long time ago. Rather than being a test of your ability to conduct internet searches, this is more like a personality or compatability test--I'm looking to compare your taste in movies to mine.

Here are the rules:

First, no cheating! Don't google these quotes or look them up any where else. The point is not to see how many you get right, but whether you like the same movies that I do. If you don't know the line, then it doesn't matter whether you can find the quote or not on the internet, you don't get to count it towards your score.

Second, on some of these quotes you have two chances, because in a number of instances, I used more than one quote from a movie. So maybe if you recognize one line, you'll then clue in to the other.

Third, I did these quotes from memory, so they may not be exactly right. But I promise that they are close enough that, if you've seen the movie and you're good at remembering lines, you'll know where they came from.

Fourth, I will tell you up front that there are no lines from Clue.

Fifth, Impatient Chicken is a broke student, so the winner gets only the privilege of liking the same movies that I do and a hearty (virtual) congratulatory handshake.

E-mail me your answers, don't post them, unless you want others to copy. I will post the correct answers sometime on Wednesday (hopefully).

Good luck! Without further ado, here they are:

(1) “Why can’t you be more like your brother? Harold would never beat up his landlord.”

(2) “You can stuff him, for all I care. Stuff him and put him in a glass case—only I’d suggest frosted glass.”

(3) “Are you Leo?”
“I am Big Leo.”
“This just says ‘Leo.’”
“We are the same, Leo and Big Leo.”

(4) “I won’t play the sap for you.”

(5) “That baby will be back at the orphanage before you get there, even!”

(6) “This your body, little man?”

(7) “Are we talking about the same man who once declared with total conviction that the late Colonel Howard had been bludgeoned to death with a blunt excrement?”

(8) “Where I come from, we get up in the morning!”
“Yes, and where did it get you, may I ask?”

(9) “So far, I’ve been in a train and a room and a car and a room and a room and a room.”

(10) “One of these days, one of you boys is going to start one of these scenes differently, and one of us girls is going to drop dead from surprise.”

(11) [Woman narrating what she’s observing from across the room.] “Look at that girl over to his left. Look over to your left, bookworm. There’s a girl pining for you . . . A little further . . . Just a little further . . . There, wasn’t that worth looking for? See those store teeth all beaming at you? Oh, she recognizes you! She’s up! She’s down! She can’t make up her mind. She’s up again. She recognizes you. She’s coming over to speak to you. The suspense is killing me. ‘Why for heavens sake, aren’t you Fuzzy Oathammer I went to manual training school with in Louisville? Oh, you’re not? Well, you certainly look exactly like him. It’s certainly a remarkable resemblance. Well, you’re not going to ask me to sit down, I suppose you’re not going to ask me to sit down, I’m very sorry, I hope I haven’t caused you any embarrassment, you so-and-so.’”

(12) “Simmer down, Minnie, you ain’t a rich widow yet.”

(13) “Please sir, can I have one to surge with, sir, please sir?”

(14) “In a few hours I would be free . . . or dead . . . or Rudolfo Lasperi of Palermo, Sicili.”

(15) Bonus: Where did the name Rudolfo Lasperi come from?

Wednesday, August 31, 2005

Speaking of pots

One of Amstaff mom's comments on my last post and something Deals had on her blog recently (or was it on impatientbee) made me think of my views on hot tubs, which I think I should pass on. So here it is:

Hot tub=human stock pot

That's right. It's like boiling people. The hot tub is like one giant stock pot. You're sitting there, cooking, stewing away. Think about what happens to chickens while they're been boiled. Uh-huh. You know what I mean. Chicken juices. It's how you make chicken stock. Same thing with hot tubs. All the people juices are just swirling around in there. You're stewing in other people's juices. So I hope you really like the people you're in the tub with (and everyone who's been in that tub before you), because you're soaking in them.

Mmm. Yummy.

Hope everyone has a great time this Labor Day weekend. Stay out of stock pots.

Monday, August 29, 2005

The Pot Thickens

So. Here's what I'm thinking. I'm thinking that there ought to be a way to let everyone in the office know that there's a fresh pot of coffee available.

As every coffee drinker knows (and I am not referring to those namby-pamby "I only drink caramel frapuccino" types--they aren't really coffee drinkers), if you let a pot of coffee sit on the burner for long enough, it turns into something considerably less desirable than what it started out as. It doesn't congeal exactly, it kind of . . . I don't know what the word is. All I know is, it doesn't taste the same, and when I add cream, it turns a sort of thick gray color. It's like the coffee is a black hole--you can pour all the cream in you want, but it won't make a difference.

So today I'm standing there in front of the coffee, wondering if this is fresh coffee or no. The cup I had when I arrived this morning was decidedly not fresh. So I sit there for several minutes debating whether it smells fresher, whether the coffee level is higher than it was this morning (which would indicate a new pot), whether it looked different, etc, etc. This is, of course, an incredible time-waster, especially since I'll be drinking it either way. But I like to know what I'm getting myself into, you know?

So can't we set up some sort of automatic alert system?