Tuesday, July 26, 2005

A few observations from the office

Last night, I didn’t get much sleep. I kept waking up. At one point, I woke up at 12:40, convinced that it was time to get up and that somehow I’d set my clock wrong. It was variations on that theme all night. So anyway, I’m not really awake enough to post anything terribly interesting, so I’m going to talk about people and things I’ve encountered at work and have wanted to blog about. But I don’t know when I’ll have time to do these topics justice, so instead I’m just giving an overview and lumping them all together.

Grumpy. Grumpy’s office faces the door that I go through every morning. She’s like the hall monitor—she looks up every time someone comes in the door. But she never looks happy about it. The other day was her birthday, and someone had gone to a lot of trouble. There was a happy birthday streamer on the door and confetti everywhere, and in the middle of all this joviality sat Grumpy, looking as curmudgeonly as ever. I wished that I had my camera with me. She actually smiled at me today, and the words “pod people” came to mind.

Thunder boy. There’s this guy that occasionally takes the stairs to leave at the same time I do. Twice now I’ve been ahead of him, and apparently I go too slow for him, but he’s also apparently too polite to walk too close to me. So he’d wait for me to get down the flight of stairs, and then he’d come thundering down that flight and then stop and wait on the landing for me to finish descending the next flight. It was really, really hard not to start laughing because all I could hear were my footsteps and then his:
clump clump clump clump clump clump clump clump clump clump [pause] clumpclumpclumpclumpclumpclumpclumpclumpclumpclump!
clump clump clump clump clump clump clump clump clump clump [pause] clumpclumpclumpclumpclumpclumpclumpclumpclumpclump!

By the time we got all the way down to the parking garage, I was almost in tears from holding the laughter in.

The stairwell. For some reason, as you get down the stairs to the parking garage levels, the stairs are painted (bluish-grayish) and so are the handrails (a nice Safety Yellow). I’m not sure why they decorated the stairs for the parking garage. Also, as part of the “décor,” on the level between the ground floor and the first level of the parking garage, there’s a large color photo of what looks like a very clean boiler room. I’m not sure what to make of that. On the next level down is a large vent at waist level, which of course I’ve decided will be my escape route, should I ever need one. Sometimes it’s blowing out hot air, but that’s ok. I’ve seen “Dr. No.” I know what to do.

The office walls. The front wall of our offices are made of frosted glass that you can sort of see through. The only problem is that the way the sun hits it, I can’t really see out—but people can see in. So it’s sort of like a one-way mirror. I’ve very disconcerted by this.

Honkish. Every day in my office I hear someone honking his horn repeatedly. And it's the same horn. I hear it as it comes down the road and all the way down the road until it's too far away. There are, I don't know, maybe five other cars on this six lane road--who is he honking at? I'm starting to get really, really irritated. Go back to New York, pal!

And, finally

Carpal tunnel syndrome? Something funky is going on with my right arm. For the last five days, after using my computer for a while, it gets all pins-and-needlesy like it’s falling asleep. This morning it started after I’d only used the computer for about five minutes. What’s up with that? I’m too young to be falling apart already.


Kim Plaintive said...

Next time Thunder Boy is behind you you should turn around and go up the stairs just to freak him out. Or you could just stop walking and see what happens. He'd probably get scared and jump into the air vent to escape.

JLR said...

That is a fabulous idea. If I ever have my own A-Team, you've got yourself a job. But I get to be the one that says "I love it when a plan comes together."

Amanda Sue said...

thunder boy rings a bell with me. does he sometimes come to walmart in nacogdoches dressed like a woman?

if he does, then he follows me with his cart until i think he is going to ram my ankles, crippling me for life.

Amstaff Mom said...

When I worked at a different building, we had the opposite window effect. We could see out, but no one could see in. One day, there were a bunch of guys cleaning the windows. One of them decided that it was too much work to get down from the ropes and decided to relieve himself on the window. He just thought that if he couldn't see out, we couldn't see in. He was promptly fired.

JLR said...

Oh, I would have been horrified! And you had better believe, I'd have been the first person calling to report him.

Amanda sue: Quite possibly. Yet another reason to avoid Wal-mart. Or at least the one in nacogdoches.

MsThang said...

I like how you think Kim!

Ben said...

I have never seen Dr. No. So I don't know what to do...

JLR said...

You haven't seen Dr. No? Hmm. Perhaps it's because you don't share an abode with rr, who twice a year drops everything for the "15 days of James Bond" marathon on TBS.

JLR said...

And the answer is: take off my shirt and use it as a sort of insulation to protect my hands and knees from the heat as I'm crawling through.