Friday, July 01, 2005

Plus, she can cook like nobody's business

My friend Lisa is hilarious, in addition to being smart and beautiful and talented. I love getting e-mail from her because I never know what she's going to say. She will be visiting Memphis soon, and I suggested she should maybe go the Peabody to see the ducks. The Peabody is a hotel that keeps ducks, and every day the ducks are paraded by the “Duck Master” down a red carpet to a fountain in the lobby. I love the way her mind works. Instead of saying something like "oh, that's cute, maybe we'll put that on our itenerary," her response was:

From: Lisa Petty
To: [JLR]
Sent: Fri 7/2/2005 9:47AM
I just have one question - so, does the guy actually put on his I-9 form under "occupation" Peabody Duck Master?

From: [JLR]
To: Lisa Petty
Sent: Fri 7/2/2005 9:49AM
That is such a good question that I am embarrassed I didn't think of it myself.

From: Lisa Petty
To: [JLR]
Sent: Fri 7/2/2005 9:57AM
He'd almost *have* to. I mean, I don't really think he could just put "Duck Master"; he'd have to specify. Or, maybe they have a drop down menu on the website that goes:
Master-Animal(general)
Master-Aardvark
Master-Antelope
Master-Bear(black)
Master-Bear(brown)
Master-Beaver
etc.,etc.,etc.

From: [JLR]
To: Lisa Petty
Sent: Fri 7/2/2005 10:04AM
Maybe they'd make it simpler and categorize it by venue, as in
Master--Circus animal
Master--Zoo animal
Master--Movie animal
Master--Hotel poultry
Master--Other animals

From: Lisa Petty
To: [JLR]
Sent: Fri 7/2/2005 10:08AM
I bet that the Annual Hotel Poultry Masters' Convention in Vegas is a rage-er.


2 comments:

Ben said...

So what kind of qualifications does one have to have to become the "Duck Master?" I might be interested... of course, there has to be internet access so I can blog... if so... I am SO ready to become the "Duck Master."

JLR said...

That would be an interesting help wanted ad. Wanted: Duck Master. Must have excellent herding skills and be able to speak fluent duck. College degree preferred.

I think it also sounds like a really bad ninja movie. Or a rap artist. Duck MasterG.