Friday, September 30, 2005

Oh, one of those days

It’s that kind of day. Today I was later to work than I wanted to be because
(i) this morning on my drive to school, my purse fell over and my cell phone slid out, and I forgot to look for it, so then when I got in my car to go to work I remembered and had to hunt around for it; and
(ii) whilst waiting to cross the street, I stood there for several minutes until I realized that the little walk man, or as jes corrected me, the non-gender-specific walking figure, was never going to appear, because I’d never pressed the button. I’m glad I finally realized it. Otherwise, I might still be standing there.

When I was getting ready to leave this morning, I realized that I had forgotten to read for class. How do you forget to read for class? I don’t know the answer to that, but it happened yesterday, too.

I also had a law review incident wherein now I will have to be the bad guy and cause several people not to like me because of their own general incompetence, which I hate. I mean, I don’t mind people not liking me, but I hate it when someone does something wrong, and then they turn on the person who calls them on it. Grr. Why can’t we all just get along?

Then I got to work and, thinking today was Monday, started to ask jes how her weekend was. When I told her that, she didn’t laugh at me, but just gave me a look and told me that her weekend was fine.

And I have gotten exactly two things done today because I can’t focus. Let’s face it, I would rather be (i) shopping for new fall clothes, or (ii) shopping for new fall shoes, or (iii) AT THE FAIR.

Calling Out Your Name

As far as I’m concerned, we don’t sing enough hymns these days. I do like praise music, but there is something very powerful to me about the old hymns. What can I say--in that single respect, I'm old fashioned. I’m a Bible church girl, so mostly I get praise music (and don’t get me started on skits!). I’m ok with that (except for the skits), but I really, really wish we could everyonce in a while go “old school.”

That being said, I would sing songs by Rich Mullins every Sunday if given the opportunity. For some reason today, when I was walking back from Starbucks with my friend kk (who is one of the sweetest, smartest, best Christian women in the world, such a wonderful person and friend, and I really wish some guy who actually deserves her would realize that), and “Calling Out Your Name” popped into my head. I love this song. It is probably my favorite song in the world. I do not think we give him enough credit for the powerful, amazing songs he created.

Anyway, I thought I’d pass it along.

Calling Out Your Name
Rich Mullins

Well the moon moved past Nebraska
And spilled laughter on them cold Dakota Hills
And angels danced on Jacob's stairs
Yeah, they danced on Jacob's stairs
There is this silence in the Badlands
And over Kansas the whole universe was stilled
By the whisper of a prayer
The whisper of a prayer

And the single hawk bursts into flight
And in the east the whole horizon is in flames
I feel thunder in the sky
I see the sky about to rain
And I hear the prairies calling out Your name

I can feel the earth tremble
Beneath the rumbling of the buffalo hooves
And the fury in the pheasant's wings
And there's fury in a pheasant's wings
It tells me the Lord is in His temple
And there is still a faith
That can make the mountains move
And a love that can make the heavens ring
And I've seen love make heaven ring

Where the sacred rivers meet
Beneath the shadow of the Keeper of the plains
I feel thunder in the sky
I see the sky about to rain
And I hear the prairies calling out Your name

From the place where morning gathers
You can look sometimes forever 'til you see
What time may never know
What time may never know
How the Lord takes by its corners this old world
And shakes us forward and shakes us free
To run wild with the hope
To run wild with the hope

The hope that this thirst will not last long
That it will soon drown in the song
Not sung in vain
And I feel thunder in the sky
I see the sky about to rain
And I hear the prairies calling out Your name

Today's the Day


Tuesday, September 27, 2005

It's not that I don't like you, I just don't want to be around you

So the other day, Jes and I were discussing whether or not bee and I would be going to the fair with the big group. I said something to jes about how all that extroversion might be too much for me, and that it might overwhelm me and tire me out. Jes, I hope you weren’t offended. I can see why that sounded like an insult, but it’s wasn’t. I just meant that I'm not an extrovert.

Anyway, the conversation got me thinking about introversion versus extroversion. In our culture, there’s a definite bias towards being extroverted. People are always encouraged to go out, mix with others, socialize, and so on. The thing is, that attitude necessarily implies that there’s something wrong with being introverted, that it’s an abnormality, that it should be discouraged, or at the very least, the introverted person would be so much happier if she’d just get out more. This can be a problem for introverted children whose teachers and parents don’t understand. Basically, it’s a one-sided approach—it’s the attitude that “fun” is only what the extrovert considers fun, and that’s the kind of “fun” that the introvert needs more of.

So I started looking around on the internet, and it turns out that (according to most sources I found) most people are extroverted, and it’s pretty difficult for extroverts to understand introverts. So I decided to take a few minutes to point out a few things for those of you just can’t understand us.

First of all, forget the generalization that introversion is synonymous with shyness. The terms introversion and extroversion actually refer to the source of our energy. If you are an extrovert, you get your energy from the world outside of you and feel drained when you go too long without being around others. Introverts, on the other hand, get their energy from within and feel drained when they have to deal with a lot of people. So basically, you, the extrovert, like going to social gatherings because they energize you. But for introverts, social interaction is a draining experience. It’s not that we don’t enjoy it, it just tires us out. Obviously, this situation can create problems when extroverts and introverts try to socialize together. As one website put it, “Both like people, but the Introvert prefers the intimacy of talking in depth with a few people, and then tires rather quickly. The Extravert is gregarious and enjoys meeting a lot of different people, and feel energized by the experience. Half way through the evening the Introvert wants to go home; the Extravert wants to stay, and in fact would like to go on to another party after this one.” [see]

Let me reiterate: despite overwhelming public perception, introversion is not the same as shyness. But introverts are often uncomfortable going to a social event where they don’t know anyone—which is why, if you are the only person I know at a party, I will stick to you like glue and panic when you wander off.

Of course, a lot of people exhibit characteristics of both. When I’m around a small group of close friends, for example, I’m the chattiest person in the bunch, and I have a great time and don't get that tired.

Some Characteristics of Introverts:
· Are territorial - desire private space and time
· Have two personas -- private and public
· Are private people who enjoy doing things by themselves and who reveal inner most thoughts to only a few
· Are happy to be alone - they can be lonely in a crowd
· Become drained around large groups of people; dislike attending parties; Need time alone to recharge
· Prefer to work on own rather than do group work
· Act cautiously in meeting people
· Do not enjoy being the center of attention [I cannot stress this enough]
· See reflection as very important
· Become absorbed in thoughts and ideas
· Communicate best one-on-one
· Get agitated and irritated without enough time alone or undisturbed—become grouchy if around people too long, especially after contact with many people
· Select activities carefully and thoughtfully
· Rarely interrupt and hate to be interrupted
· Learn by watching and mentally rehearsing
· Are humiliated easily -- they do not want to appear foolish

And speaking of not being the center of attention, it’s also stressful for this particular introvert (and others that I’ve talked to) to be with an extrovert in public if the extrovert is doing something to attract attention to himself, because that indirectly attracts attention to the introvert, who really, really, really doesn’t want it. It’s different if I’m with one or two close friends—I will often monopolize the conversation.

And maybe some of you extroverts out there can explain something to me. Often when I have been subjected to too much concentrated attention from others, I will blush because I’m very uncomfortable. And then, some ill-mannered person inevitably thinks it’s a good idea to point out that I’m blushing. So even more attention is focused on me. Un!Comfortable! Why do you do that? And especially, why do you laugh at my obvious discomfort? I don’t understand that at all.

So what’s my point in talking about this? Well, I guess I don’t have one, except that if you are an extrovert, I hope you found this post helpful, and not just really long and boring.

Monday, September 26, 2005

4 days until the fair!!!

This year, in addition to the corny dog eating contest, the State Fair will also host a jalapeno eating contest (Sunday, Oct. 23--the last day of the fair), as well as a qualifying round for the 2005 Krystal Square off World Hamburger Eating Championship on Sunday, Oct. 2, at 1pm.

Friday, September 23, 2005

Check it out!

Despair, Inc. has released the first four designs of the new 2006 calendar. Here are three of them:

Image hosted by

Image hosted by

And my favorite of the new ones so far:
Image hosted by

Thursday, September 22, 2005

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

If you behave, there will be cake for the miscreants we call your brothers

Because I can my brain is operating on low battery today, I decided to let someone else write for me—ye olde Surrealist Compliment Generator. I decided to compose a love letter using the SCG’s suggestions. Please, feel free to use it to woo the mate of your choice.

Madam, what a handsome moustache you wear! Woods nymphs sprinkle your path with bowling balls while you dance and prowl in the sequined moonlight with leftover heads of lettuce. Your intelligence is equal to the smoothness of a walnut shell.

Be still, my love, my watermelon rind. I am consumed with your collection of agile fans and pocked blades. Your legs are like threads of cotton, though much thicker, and filled with weevils [that’s one of my personal favorites]. Your nasal hair speaks volumes concerning the Isle of Wright.

Onerous congratulations on your conceptual development of obliteration concerning telephones, lobsters and fish! The phase of your hallucinations reminds me of those balmy days when the championship mould was breeding, when the fish were long, and so were the valued floats of men we drank through narrow straws...

Bleed me! My memory is fried with your pork! Suffer, for you are toasting the Marzipan!.. (..and may I upon pretense ring latent tintinabulations for your Andalusian raisins!)

You are the swordfish that will never shower [another family favorite].

[insert your name here]

For extra fun, I decided to bring back the fun we had with translating. I translated the above into German, and then into French and then back into English. Just when you thought it could not get any stranger:

woman, the EC what imposing Moustache to carry you! Of Holznymphen sprinkle your manner with of Bowlingspielkugeln, while you dance and of Prowl in Moonlight with the other heads of salad of head sequined. Your intelligence is even with the regularity of a higher part.

If you are nor, my loves, my bovine of watermelon. I am used with your accumulation of mobile ventilators and sheets pocked. Your legs are like wire of the cotton, although much more strongly, and filled with beetles of trunk. Your hair nasal speaks the expenditure are the island of Wright.

The telephones, Hummer is importunate congratulations on your development of concept obliteration and the fish! * it it phase with your Hallucinations to point out to me this balmy day, when it forms it to raise, when the long fish and thus to evaluate it and to move them of the man, that us by narrow Strohe... to drink

purge me! My memory is roast with your pigmeat! suffer, because you roast Marzipan!.. * (..a. to be able I after latent tintinabulations pretenseringes for your Andalusian Rosinen!)

They are the fish of sword which never shower [that one is actually pretty close!].

Monday, September 19, 2005


Check out what day today is.

11 days, baby!

The State Fair starts in 11 days. That's right!

In anticipation, I visited the state fair website, and I have to take issue with the press release regarding the ABC so-called "Fun in the Sun" tour of their daytime soap "stars." In particular, I take issue with this statement: "Fans of "General Hospital" will enjoy meeting Scott Clifton." I'm not a fan of General Hospital, but I think it's a bit presumptuous to assume that if I were a fan, I'd automatically enjoy meeting "Dillon." Maybe I think that "Dillon" is a tool.

I am in a fabulous mood today. Fabulous.

I am not sure why. Maybe it’s because it's a work day so I get to see jes. Maybe it’s because I remembered to bring fingerless gloves to work so that my fingers don't get frostbite in this, the Arctic Circle.

But I think it’s just one of those days.

[warning—I’m about to go off on a tangent and show what a reverse snob I am]

In other news, I wore a fake Gucci watch today. Oh, excuse me—timepiece. I wore a fake Gucci timepiece today. Of course, I would never buy a real Gucci watch, and I don’t wear this one in the hopes that someone will think it’s real. If someone I’m friends with were to comment on it, I’d hastily assure him or her that it’s fake. So why do I wear it? Well, it’s pretty, for one thing. Also, it's fun wearing something that your mother bought from a guy selling watches in the street.

But more than that, I like to play “Spot the Judgmental Loser.” There are a lot of shallow, materialistic people out there, particularly at my school. And it’s fun to see who will suddenly be impressed with me now that I am wearing name-brand accessories.

The irony is not lost on me that I am judging people for being judgmental. In fact, irony is rarely lost on me. Take last Tuesday, for example, as I watched The Biggest Loser while stuffing my face with chocolate.

Anyway, I know I shouldn’t be judging these people, but laughing at them keeps me from despising them. Because it scares me that these people, who know nothing of life outside “the Bubble,” will one day be attorneys. Being a lawyer gives you tremendous power to do good things, and it saddens me to think of these people passing up that opportunity. I try to take a page from my friend kk’s book and not think badly of them. But because my natural inclination is to hope that horrible, bad things happen to them and that they die penniless, friendless, and alone, it’s a little hard to work myself into actually liking them. The best I can do is just laugh at them, and maybe feel sorry for them a little bit. These people don’t know what they’re missing because they make all of their lives about things.

But I digress. Despite the lecture from atop my soap box--I’m in a fabulous mood. I’m going to enjoy this beautiful day and thank God that I have a job and friends and school and so many wonderful opportunities, and thank Him for letting me have the life that I have, as imperfect as it may be. Go out today and do good things! You’ll be glad you did.

Saturday, September 17, 2005

Friday, September 16, 2005

My Week of Living Veganously

Every once in a while, RR and I get crazy ideas. You know, ideas that are “just so crazy, it might work,” type crazy. Usually they do not actually work. That does not deter us. I see that as a good thing. We take a lickin’ and keep on tickin’, and it’s people like that, that make the world go round, people like that who make things happen, and people like that who figure out how to get keyboards working again after being doused in coffee.

This week’s crazy idea was to go vegan. RR and I, despite our terrible eating habits (and I mean, terrible to an embarrassing degree), do have aspirations to being those annoyingly healthy people who bring carrot sticks to movie-watching parties—and just carrot sticks (or something akin), not carrot sticks AND queso AND cookies. So periodically, we force ourselves to be semi-healthy for a short period of time. Also, in general, I eat far more dairy than any one person should (and visions of diverticulitis danced in her head). This week, I thought to myself, surely it would be good for us to eschew meat and dairy, if just for a week?

Probably it would have been, but of course we’ll never know, because I cannot be vegan. I’m not buying the special bread that is not made with whey, if such a thing exists. I’m just not. But I did decide that I could give up cheese and milk—well, plain milk. I wasn’t going to avoid things that had milk in them—I wasn’t giving up the dairy for ethical reasons, but only because I have too much dairy in my diet. Anyway.

Sunday: Had coffee at parents’ house (they have nondairy creamer). Had Amy’s Organic Rice and Beans Burrito (non-dairy) for lunch and dinner.

Monday: Had to wait to get coffee until I got to work because did not have nondairy creamer at home as that stuff is gross and I will not have it in my house. Jes noticed me pouring the powdery stuff into my coffee and asked me if I was lactose intolerant, thus confirming my belief that I was not going to be able to avoid explaining to people my weird goal for the week. Had peanut butter sandwich and fruit for lunch and Amy’s non-dairy enchiladas for dinner.

Tuesday: Forgot lunch, had to buy lunch from school eating establishment, which consisted of a grilled vegetable sandwich. [My friend (and fellow cheese lover) asked why I couldn’t just have a sandwich, or any of the salads with cheese on them.] Picked off most of the vegetables and just ate the croissant and potato chips, thus confirming my belief that I was trading one bad eating habit for another. Clearly if I wasn’t eating meat and cheese, I was eating everything else--I never eat potato chips.

Amy’s non-dairy enchiladas for dinner. The worst part of the day was the no coffee (no nondairy creamer at home and the closest school establishment selling coffee and providing nondairy creamer doesn’t take cash or accept credit cards for purchases of less than $3). I had to compensate with DP—which I love, but not first thing in the morning. Sugar in the morning, bad.

Wednesday: Another DP morning. Sandwich at lunch was damp (?!!), so ate ritz crackers and m&ms instead. Had soup for dinner.

Thursday: I cracked. Walked to Starbucks and bought a non-fat, with-whip mocha. Had PIZZA for dinner with extra cheese. OD’ed on M&Ms.

Today (Friday): Repentant. Am currently drinking coffee with nondairy creamer. Blueberry muffin for breakfast (actually, just the top of one). PB sandwich for lunch. Soup will be dinner.

Unsurprisingly, after five days as a quasi-vegan, I don’t feel any healthier.

Monday, September 12, 2005

18 Days Until the Fair!

Items to note:

The birds of the world exhibits starts daily at 1pm, 2:30, 4:30, and 6pm.

The corndog eating contest is on October 9.

The Dallas Historical Society is hosting an exhibit in the Hall of State. The exhibit is about Elvis. I don't think I need to say anything more to inspire you to go to the fair.

But in case that's not enough for you, the butter sculpture this year is Elvis.

Also in the Hall of State, there will be live performances of the music if legendary bluesman Blind Lemon Jefferson.

Thursday, September 08, 2005

Dallas Area Animal Lovers--Take Note

City Pet Rescue (CPR) desperately need foster homes for homeless animals! CPR is a local non-profit, no-kill animal rescue organization. While there is always a need for foster homes, the need is even greater after Katrina because there is an influx of incoming animals from the hurricane area. Local animal shelters desperately need all rescue groups to take cats, kittens, dogs and pups, of all sizes. CPR needs foster homes for these animals. Please email Sara Schryvers ( if you are interested in learning about fostering or any other way that you can help. This is an easy and fun way to help victims of Katrina.

Monday, September 05, 2005

The First Installment of the Impatient Chicken Movie Quote Quiz

Ok, folks, here it is. The movie quote quiz that I promised a long time ago. Rather than being a test of your ability to conduct internet searches, this is more like a personality or compatability test--I'm looking to compare your taste in movies to mine.

Here are the rules:

First, no cheating! Don't google these quotes or look them up any where else. The point is not to see how many you get right, but whether you like the same movies that I do. If you don't know the line, then it doesn't matter whether you can find the quote or not on the internet, you don't get to count it towards your score.

Second, on some of these quotes you have two chances, because in a number of instances, I used more than one quote from a movie. So maybe if you recognize one line, you'll then clue in to the other.

Third, I did these quotes from memory, so they may not be exactly right. But I promise that they are close enough that, if you've seen the movie and you're good at remembering lines, you'll know where they came from.

Fourth, I will tell you up front that there are no lines from Clue.

Fifth, Impatient Chicken is a broke student, so the winner gets only the privilege of liking the same movies that I do and a hearty (virtual) congratulatory handshake.

E-mail me your answers, don't post them, unless you want others to copy. I will post the correct answers sometime on Wednesday (hopefully).

Good luck! Without further ado, here they are:

(1) “Why can’t you be more like your brother? Harold would never beat up his landlord.”

(2) “You can stuff him, for all I care. Stuff him and put him in a glass case—only I’d suggest frosted glass.”

(3) “Are you Leo?”
“I am Big Leo.”
“This just says ‘Leo.’”
“We are the same, Leo and Big Leo.”

(4) “I won’t play the sap for you.”

(5) “That baby will be back at the orphanage before you get there, even!”

(6) “This your body, little man?”

(7) “Are we talking about the same man who once declared with total conviction that the late Colonel Howard had been bludgeoned to death with a blunt excrement?”

(8) “Where I come from, we get up in the morning!”
“Yes, and where did it get you, may I ask?”

(9) “So far, I’ve been in a train and a room and a car and a room and a room and a room.”

(10) “One of these days, one of you boys is going to start one of these scenes differently, and one of us girls is going to drop dead from surprise.”

(11) [Woman narrating what she’s observing from across the room.] “Look at that girl over to his left. Look over to your left, bookworm. There’s a girl pining for you . . . A little further . . . Just a little further . . . There, wasn’t that worth looking for? See those store teeth all beaming at you? Oh, she recognizes you! She’s up! She’s down! She can’t make up her mind. She’s up again. She recognizes you. She’s coming over to speak to you. The suspense is killing me. ‘Why for heavens sake, aren’t you Fuzzy Oathammer I went to manual training school with in Louisville? Oh, you’re not? Well, you certainly look exactly like him. It’s certainly a remarkable resemblance. Well, you’re not going to ask me to sit down, I suppose you’re not going to ask me to sit down, I’m very sorry, I hope I haven’t caused you any embarrassment, you so-and-so.’”

(12) “Simmer down, Minnie, you ain’t a rich widow yet.”

(13) “Please sir, can I have one to surge with, sir, please sir?”

(14) “In a few hours I would be free . . . or dead . . . or Rudolfo Lasperi of Palermo, Sicili.”

(15) Bonus: Where did the name Rudolfo Lasperi come from?