Wednesday, October 12, 2005

I hated it so much that...flames. flames. flames on the side of my face, heaving, breaths--

Ok, so a few weekends again, I had to get my car inspected. Because my car is so old, and because I can't afford to fix anything if there's something actually wrong with it, I can't take it to just any place. I always take it to this place near my apartment where they only do inspections, and where I'm pretty sure every car passes. Although they turn my car on, I can't even be sure that they are actually running any tests on it.

So anyway, I'm sitting there in the waiting area, where there is a television. The television is on. I don't know why, but when I'm at those places, I don't feel like I have the right to change the channel, or even turn down the volume, so I usually get stuck watching something like NASCAR or golf. On that day, I would have killed for NASCAR. Instead, they were showing Saturday morning children's programming. And that's when I found out about Lazy Town.

You know how sometimes, something just rubs you the wrong way, so much so that you actually become angry, without really knowing why? You just go straight past irritated and right into "if I could hit something right now, I would?" That was pretty much my reaction to this show. I wanted to scream. And keep screaming, until I passed out.

Apparently, the premise of the show is that there's this town of idiot puppets and their hero is some french guy named Sporticus. The other two non-puppet characters are some pink-haired girl who nods a lot and an incredibly stereotypical villain. Let me stop right there and say that I don't like puppets. Well, muppets are cool. But typically, puppets creep me out. This was no exception. Furthermore, the hero is this big strong FRENCH guy? When was the last time a french guy was (a) healthy, or (b) standing up for anyone? And what's with the mustache? If you're trying to do away with french stereotypes, how about starting with appearances?

Anyway, so in this episode, apparently the writers of the show have rejected the spinach=strong teachings of Popeye and have instead embraced carrots=strong. That's right. Eat carrots and develop incredible strength and the ability to throw carrots with expert precision. Eat carrots and immediately feel better!

Anyway, so the villain of the show decided to pretend to be a doctor to convince everyone that carrots are bad for you and that Sporticus should be sent away. Because he puts on a white lab coat and one of those metal reflector looking things doctors used to wear on his head, everyone buys it. Anway, the show winds up with Sporticus figuring it out and saving the day. I think the thing that bothered me the most was that no one recognized the bad guy until he took off the little metal thing on his head.

Also, I think there may have been a song in there somewhere.

So, yeah, I hated it.


RR said...

There were two songs, actually. It was horrible.

Amstaff Mom said...

LOVED the title of the post. Too bad you can't have little hands going up next to the words. Then it would be perfect. I loved the Muppets. Anything else is sub-par, at best.

Too funny how you said you couldn't change the television. I wouldn't either.

Man, we're alot alike, you just put it into words better than I do.

JLR said...

AM: I thought of you when I added the title. :)

I don't think I put things into words better than you, but thanks for the compliment!

RR: I think I blacked out for the second song. Self-preservation, probably. Otherwise I might have gone postal and then how would I get my car inspected?

Amstaff Mom said...

So, did the car pass?

Katie said...

Uhh not to jump in front of your flaming face but I would LOVE the ability to throw carrots with expert precision. Really I would love that talent. Hmmm maybe i need to eat more carrots.

JLR said...

AM: Yes, my car did pass, though I was nervous about it the whole time, and even though an older man came in after me and they did his car first, but I'm not bitter about that.

Katie: Carrot archery would be a great talent, and I would love to have it. But, having sampled many a carrot in my day, I dispute the implication that eating them will somehow help me develop that skill. Bad t.v. show, misleading the poor audience like that! Children believe anything! How disappointed they will be! Assuming, of course, that they actually watch the show.

RR said...

No kidding, JLR. I'm still nursing bitterness and disappointment at Sesame Street. When the man on t.v. drew eggs, they came to life. Not so with the eggs I drew on our living room wall.

Deals On Wheels said...


1) Technically, they ARE doing away with French stereotypes. After all, how many times have the French been victorious in the past 100 years Two World Wars, Southeast Asia - they are kind of famous for being "easy to conqueror" (at least in the 20th century). That is a far cry from "hero status".

2) No one recognized Clark Kent without his glasses, so why should they recognize the other dude in a doctor's outfit?

3) I had a friend who was allergic to carrots once. It was fun trying to sneak carrots into her food, because she would turn orange if she ate them. To a six-year-old, having a randomly orange friend was like winning the lottery. In a word, "AWESOME".

4) I have an irrational fear of puppets. I think it is directly related to my irrational fear of clowns. Oh, and Gonzo gave me nightmares…

5) Why is it called "Lazy Town"? That doesn't sound like something I'd want my children to watch. "Active Town", maybe, but not "Lazy Town".

Okay, I think that is it. Carry on.


Deals On Wheels said...

I found the following, and thought I would post it here (so everyone can be as TERRIFIED of the concept as I am):

"LazyTown on Prime Time in Iceland

Today LazyTown will premiere in Iceland, the home country of the creator and founder, Magnus Scheving, where he has been developing the concept for more than 12 years. The show has been received with great success worldwide in the past 12 months, currently airing in 42 countries, and 43 tomorrow!"

I do not know where to begin with this. There is just TOO much wrong with the entire thing.

For starters:

1) It took him 12 YEARS to develop the concept. What! Are you kidding me?

2) People live in Iceland?

3) 43 countries? It is spreading like the plague!

...I think I'll go and "rock" now. Whimper, whimper. I'm now certain that this show will bring about the end of the world!

echotig said...

Lazy Town is the WORST SHOW EVER! I am sorry you had to suffer it. Even my kids hate it. Its just off. Maybe its the french guy. Anyway, we shudder even at the commercials for it. I hope your eyes and ears recover !

Katie said...

Deals you purposely tried to turn your friend ORANGE. Evil one you were, funny, and yet oh so evil.

Sydney said...

Soooo Funny! I think it's hilarious that you felt that strongly. HE HE... Sorry I shouldn't laugh but it's a cartoon.... Just struck me funny! Glad your car passed!

Deals On Wheels said...

Katie: You know you'd do it too if you had the chance! There is a serious lack of orange people on the planet. I tried to turn myself orange once, but I just couldn't seem to ingest enough Beta-Carotene. Alas.


JLR said...

echotig: THANK YOU. It really gives me the heebie-jeebies.

Syd: Have you seen the show? Because it's seriously awful. If I were inclined to believe in conspiracy theories, I'd think it was a plot of some kind. Not sure of what, but something.

RR said...

Speaking of conspiracy theories, the word from today's crazy person: Elvis is not dead, and neither is Jack Ruby. The proof that Jack Ruby is not dead is that his businesses are still doing well. Who knew?

Deals On Wheels said...

Well, I hope that he doesn't want his art back. He'd probably put it in a well-lit window (and we just CANNOT have that)!

Ralph Rainwater said...

Lazy Town is buried in the Nick Jr. shows my little girl watches every day. I've caught about five episodes and have to admit to enjoying the show purely for the weirdness of everything about it.

My wife can't stand to look at the show for thirty seconds, creeped out by the mix of puppets and live action. I get a kick out of the villain's over-the-top acting and the odd prosthetics added to his face.

Without having a small child, I would never watch it -- but one must admire the little dreamlike universe the show lives within.

JLR said...

ralph: Thanks for commenting. I can see why some people might be intrigued with the hammy performance of the villain, but I have to agree with your wife on this one!

deals: are you mocking rr? because you really shouldn't put valuable art work in the sunlight.