Tuesday, June 20, 2006

I Never Thought I’d Say This, But I Miss Law School.

I am so behind right now on my studying! I know what you are thinking. You are thinking, “But JLR, you spend all of your time studying, how can you be behind?” My answer is that it’s because of the way that I study. I have documented on several occasions that I do not like to study at all. So now, when I have to study pretty much all day, I do a lot of sighing, a lot of staring at the wall, a lot of whining, a lot of feeling sorry for myself, a lot of spacing out, and a lot of stretching. As you can imagine, that takes up a good portion of my time. I know that rr is glad she’s at work during the day so that she doesn’t have to listen to it.

I also spend a bit of time dealing with two cats that cause a bit of a ruckus throughout the day demanding my attention. So I’m behind. A lot. But that’s ok! I’m not panicking yet!

Anyway, I was thinking the other day about how this time last year, I was working, and that got me thinking about how much I miss working. And then I found where I had written down some intriguing rules in the employee handbook last year, and it seemed like a good thing to post.

The handbook had this to say: Maternity leave is treated as any other illness.” Any other illness. Because apparently being pregnant is like having a disease, not miraculous event that it is, an event that is absolutely necessary for the continuation of our species on this earth. Good to know. I mean, I guess, technically, a baby is a kind of parasite, so, if you look at that way . . . no, no, any way you look at it, the statement just bothers me. But this next one was delightful:

All employees are asked to refrain from wearing gaudy jewelry and strong perfumes and colognes.”

I find this particular rule to be interesting on so many levels. I’m all for limiting the perfume. I used to work with a guy who went a little overboard. I mean, we’re talking, if he got off the elevator, you didn’t want to get in after him. Once I entered the stairwell right as I heard the door two floors above. I wonder who that was, I thought. [Breathed in]. Oh, right, Mark.

But the gaudy jewelry bit particularly fascinates me. I love that they’ve grouped it with strong perfumes, as in, something that could give others a headache or cause nausea just by being with a certain range of it. And I’m really enjoying the idea of what kind of gaudy jewelry would be so bad that they felt they needed to mention it in the employee handbook. I mean, are we talking Mr. T level? I really want to know!


Lia said...

That comment on maternity leave offends me on many levels. Objectively, I recognize that companies can't just say "we'll keep paying you while you go raise your child", but I think it's a shame that motherhood isn't respected as the important, challenging, and full-time job that it is.

Maybe - "Employees wearing gaudy jewelry or strong perfumes or colognes will have to donate sick leave to those requiring eye or ENT specialist visits as a result of contact with said employees."

EmmaSometimes said...

Wow. I didn't know I had four illnesses. Enlightning.

You should write your own:

“All employees are asked to refrain from wearing mullets, big bar hair or two piece polyester suits. Spandex is highly discouraged as are black nylons with white shoes.”

Ben said...

Kids are parasitic until they move... but for some reason I enjoy them sucking me dry... especially when they are so darn cute. ;)

Katie said...

SCORE, we don't have a gaudy jewelry clause (we have a pantyhose clause though) so I'm going to go find the worst jewelry possible and subject my co-workers to physical sickness in my presence

jes said...

Um, I work there. STILL. And I've never read the policy book.

I've been thinking about you a lot lately, wishing you were here instead of these stupid boy law clerks. They're not nearly as fun as you were.

Also, I do not know whether A) you still live by me or B) if you still check your school email address.

So: do you?

JLR said...

emma: yes! spandex should always be discouraged.

lia: that would be a good solution--then everybody wins.

Ben: I've got news for you--I'm still parasitic to my folks.

katie: fabulous. I say go for it.

jes: A) I do, and B) I do. And of course I'm more fun than a boy!

Amstaff Mom said...

Classic example of some greener grass, eh?

Lia said...

Blck nylons and white shoes. The ultimate fashion faux pas. I shudder to think.

JLR said...

black nylons and white shoes? Who would do such a thing?!!