Thursday, January 04, 2007

Ok, so, my eyelashes.

The eyelashes on my left eye have parted ways.

Let me elaborate. It seems that the eyelashes have developed a definite part. They were not like that this morning when I shellac-ed them for the day, but when I looked in the mirror just now, there they were, mocking me. This fact alone would not bother me, for I am well used to the hair on my body doing inexplicable things that I cannot control or prevent and that I’d rather it didn’t. My natural contrariness causes me to frequently cut off my nose to spite my face, and this character trait does not restrict itself my thinking self, the part of me that I could, in theory, control. My body, not to be out done, frequently does the opposite of what I want it to for no good reason other than that it refuses to be told what to do. So far this mulish tendency, as far as the rebel hair caucus goes, has primarily displayed itself to the public through the hair on my head, my eyebrows, and one stray hair on my left arm. But now, apparently, it has spread.

I wouldn’t be so much bothered by the eyelashes joining the fray and taking up the cause except that, for some reason, where my lashes have parted they’ve also decided to curl in opposite directions, and this curling is not only visible to the naked eye, it’s quite noticeable. And so, if you looked at my left eye, you would notice that my lashes appear to be giving some sort of “hook ‘em horns” or “rock on” type hand signal. Or perhaps they are merely tired of my curling and mascara-ing them into submission every morning, and thus are saying to me, “you mess with the bull . . . .” I don’t know. I only know that it’s hard for me to concentrate at work while my own eyelashes engage in what appears to be some sort of mutiny. But if they think this is over, they can just guess again.


Deals On Wheels said...

I had an eyelash fall-out the other night on my left eye.

Alas...that's the best "relating" I can do.

Maybe they are curling because of the humidity? Can you use defriz on eyelashes?

What would Mr. T say in this situation?

JLR said...

He'd say to the eyelashes, "Don't make me mad!"

Deals On Wheels said...

Then he'd growl:

"Don't make me mad! Grrrrrrr..."

(I know - I have the key chain)

Jeremiah said...

Eyelash revolt is annoying, I bet, but try being the victim of the Nose Hair Emancipation Movement, which consists of a single nose hair erupting from your nose and curling around your nostril at some point during the day and which you don't notice until that night when you brush your teeth. And, then you realize why everyone who talked to you that day kept glancing at the tip of your nose.

JLR said...

deals: I am so jealous of your keychain. I have coveted it for years.

Jeremiah: thanks for stopping by! I love your blog. I'm glad I have never had that experience. But ssshhh! Please don't give my nose hairs any ideas. I'm a girl. I don't need that problem.

Katie said...

maybe it's like the parting of the red sea and some eye boogers (yes i did use that term) are making a break for it led by a older man with a long beard, staff, and voice that resembles charleton heston (just you know squeaker since they are the size of eye boogers)