Tuesday, September 18, 2007

On the Upswing

I’m feeling slightly better today. I even had enough energy to read a few blogs today. Yes, I still have a wicked sore throat, I’m still coughing, I’m still stuffy. But last night I actually managed to get sleep in solid two hour blocks at a time, and when I woke up, I went back to sleep fairly quickly, so I’m not also dead tired. So now I have enough energy to argue with my body about what’s going on. Yesterday, RR’s brain was having a conversation with her computer. Today, I’m having a conversation with my sinuses.

Me: So, ok, so we’re a little stuffy today. What should we do about that?
Sinuses: Um. . . we’re all good, actually. No stuffiness. Nothing at all. We’re clean. You know how people say, “keep your nose clean”? Well, you’re good in that respect.
Me: Well, that’s actually an idiomatic expression, it’s not actually related to . . . anyway, if you’re “clean,” then why is my throat sore? There’s got to be some kind of drainage situation back there. And how come I can’t breathe through my nose?
Sinuses: You can never breathe through your nose. That’s normal. You’re a mouth breather, baby.
Me: No, that’s not entirely true, sometimes I can–
Sinuses: MOUTH BREATHER.
Me: . . .
Sinuses: And if I were you, I’d be more worried about the fact that your forehead is peeling again. You look like you have eyebrow dandruff.
Me: That’s not nice.
Sinuses: Breath through your mouth. Just do it.
Me: But today I can’t seem to get air in through my mouth, either.
Sinuses: That sounds like a lung problem to us.
Lungs: Don’t bring us into this.
Me: Well, I guess I could use my inhaler.
Sinuses: Yeah! Inhaler!
Lungs: Don’t you have some saline nasal spray?
Me: Yeah, I do, and that doesn’t give me the shakes. I’ll try that first.
[pause while I spray saline into my nose, grab a tissue when it all comes running out again, and cough furiously ]
Sinuses: De-nied.
Lungs: That’s harsh.
Keyboard: Did you just cough on me?

So that’s my day so far.

Also, I just want to take a minute to thank RR for being the best sister in the world. I can’t possibly thank you for everything you’ve done for me in the last week, so I’ll just pick a few. Thanks for making me Jello, buying me fruit pops, checking in the middle of the night to make sure I’m still breathing, driving me to the doctor, bringing me glasses of ice water, never flinching when I accidentally coughed on you, and giving me lots and lots of hugs, all in a fully sympathetic manner. You're just the best!

1 comment:

RR said...

I'm so sorry you weren't feeling well. And I'm sorry your sinuses called you a mouth breather. That wasn't very nice of them.