Tuesday, July 22, 2008

On Bugs, Daniel Craig, and Being Oh-So-Tie-Tie

Helllloooo. Man, I'm tired. I am so tie-tie. Yes, that's right, I'm so tired that I'm calling it "tie-tie." That's what we normally say to the cat in that high-pitched, talking-to-the-baby voice. "Aaawwww, Wawwy's tie-tie." But now I have started using the word for myself. I just walk around the town house saying, "I am so tie-tie." And for the record, I do not like people who use baby talk in everyday conversation. And yet.

Why, you ask, am I so tired?

For NOTHING. No reason at all. I'm just tired all the frakkin' time without getting anything out of it.

And that's enough of the complaining.

Not a whole heck of lot going on. I'm going to stay at my current job for a while longer, mostly because I like the people I work with and the job market has tanked, so there's not much incentive to get out there. And my friend Hils has a friend M who says that at work recently, a partner (or senior associate, can't remember) was talking to her at work about work with chewing tobacco in his mouth. That's right, chaw. Just totally noncholantly and everything. Like it was no big deal. Noooo big deal. So professional. It makes me gag a little just thinking about it. And it wasn't even in Texas. So you can stereotype Texans all you want, but it just goes to show that no place is safe from clueless bores who have sense of workplace propriety. So, yeah, no real incentive to get out there, seeing as how you never know what you'll get. Except for that tiny little factor that what I'm doing now is not even the slightest bit related to want I want to do. But you know, other than that.

On the homefront, RR and I have had to take care of three, count 'em, three hornets nests this year. We didn't want to kill them, but they were right near the door, which meant just leaving the town house would be invading their territory. And that makes me afeared.

Well, one of them was not by the door, but it was on rr's bicycle, which goes to show how often she rides it. But at least we used poison free wasp killer so as not to harm other living critters, right? Anyway, we have a "spray and run" technique down very well. Also an "open the door, aim and spray, slam the door shut" technique.

Recently we had an encounter with what we hope is a daddy long legs. We can't get close enough to tell for sure. At first we just thought, ew, creepy spider. We didn't want to kill him, though, because our thinking is that if a spider is doing good enough business to keep alive in the spot he's at, that means he taking care of bugs that would otherwise be around there and possibly on you or in your pantry, eating your food. And that is why if you come to my house, you will find undisturbed spiders. It's not that I don't vacuum. Anyway, I didn't want to kill him.

But did I mention he lives right outside and above the front door? Like, as I'm locking the door in the morning, he could just repel down onto my head. This thought freaked me out not a little. And he'd kind of scurry whenever we went in or out, which of course convinced me that he was in fact going to repel on my head. And, like, I wouldn't notice at first. And then I'd get in my car and then notice him. And I would go crazy screaming and swatting at him, and then I would get into a car crash and die. Have you ever had a spider suddenly lower himself into your eye line when you were in the car? Because I have. And it FREAKED ME OUT. And that was a little guy. I know I'd have a heart attack if a spider as big as the (suspected) daddy long legs was in my car, not to mention on my head. So that's what I imagined would happen. Or he'd tag along into the house and then he'd kill me. Because by this time, in my thoughts, he was definitely poisonous and planning something. So I decided to spray him.

Note: mint oil does not kill daddy long legs.

Anyway, after I sprayed him, but before I found out that the spray was ineffective, I decided to see if I could find info on the innernet, and that's when I decided he was a daddy long legs and probably not rubbing his eight legs (or whatever, don't email me) together in anticipation of my impending doom. I felt so bad for trying to kill him, and we were so relieved to discover that's he'd survived. So for the next week or so, whenever I would go in or out the front door, I would look up, check to see if he was still alive, and say, "dude, I'm so sorry."

But now I'm back to being afraid of the repelling. Leaving the house, it's an ordeal for me.

Speaking of anticipation, but this time in a good way, I am very excited about upcoming movies! First and foremost, in November, Quantum of Solace.

CANNOT wait. A coworker of mine, after recently finally getting around to seeing Casino Royale, developed a bit of a crush on Daniel Craig and consequently has tried telling me about Daniel Craig. Like, she'll come in and say, hey, if you like Daniel Craig, you should see blah blah blah. Like I need ANYONE to tell me ANYTHING about Daniel Craig. Daniel Craig, who's full name is Daniel Craig, JLR's Imaginary Boyfriend Since 1997. And I explained this to her. And yet she's still trying to act like there could possibly be some movie that he's been in that I wouldn't know about. Nice try! Poor girl. If she wants him, she has to get in line. Behind me. And behind RR. But I do admire her taste.

And by the way, I am not at all bothered when other women don't agree to me. I just think to myself, 'ok, so, she's not any competition, then.' As though it could be possible that, merely because no other woman on the planet found him attractive, he'd be forced to go out with me. So pathetic.

Anyway, I am also quite interested in seeing Ghost Town.

Some people think the trailer looks terrible, but I dunno, I guess my standards are low. It looks amusing. Plus, the soundtrack features one of my favorite Beatles' tunes.

I don't really have much else going on. RR and I have been spending most of our weekends helping our parents pick out paint colors. It's a tricky task because, due to the way the light comes into the room, it looks like you painted the walls three different colors. And of course, it also changes depending on the time of day. So we have had trouble finding a color that looks the same on all the walls at every (or even at any) time of the day, or a color that looks different but still good on all three walls, or a color that looks different but still good on at least two of the walls at every point during the day. So that's what I've been doing. That, and throwing out old catalogs and hoping my mom won't notice. Thrilling. And they are neutral colors, which I like because they are soothing and make redecorating easy, but I keep picturing Daniel Craig saying that he's not going to spend the rest of his life with a woman whose favorite color is beige. And if you don't know what that's from, then I guess you just don't need to making Daniel Craig movie recommendations to me.

Anyway, I suppose I should go get ready for bed now. If anything interesting actually happens, I will be sure to let you know.


RR said...

Two whole movies that we want to see! What do you think are the odds that we'll actually get out of the house long enough to go see them?

Also, Hils confirmed that it is a Daddy Long Legs. She grew up in the country, so I trust her.

Amstaff Mom said...

I CANNOT WAIT for the next Bond movie. Do we have an ETA?

I really didn't think it was a Daddy Long Legs, because I have never seen one have a web. They cover our tent at camp (sometimes they get in too) but I've yet to see a DLL web. Hmmmm.

RR said...

Um...if I sent you a picture, could you identify it for me, AM? I took a picture of it, just in case. Just in case of something, I don't know.

RR said...

Also, YES, LET'S SCHEDULE A TRIP TO SEE JAMES BOND! Yea! Only, I don't like commitment, and neither doesn't jlr. But I feel confident that we can work something out.

JLR said...

AM--the world premiere in London is Wednesday, October 29 of this year. It premieres here November 7. SO EXCITED.

And now I am super nervous about whatever the heck that thing is by the front door.

Bee Repartee said...

Holy Moly Batman! No posts and then a months worth at once. :) I'm glad you weren't ette up by the spider.

If you didn't know, Daddy Long Legged spiders are very poisonous but their mandables are too small to bite through our skin. I'm a dork. I know these things.

Oh, and speaking of uncouth coworkers? I saw this and thought of you.

Terry Tate Office Linebacker

Dude...especially for the empty coffee pot.

Deals On Wheels said...


Deals On Wheels said...

P.S. AM is right. Daddy Long Legs don't make webs. They also can't "repell", though, so you are safe as far as that is concerned.

Does he hang out in the middle of the web? Because those are pretty common in Texas in the summer. I call 'em banana spiders.

JLR said...

So apparently, I need to check my own blog more often.

Bee: I LOVED that video. I laughed so hard, I had to watch it twice. And then I started wishing we had someone around here to tackle people that don’t make more coffee. THREE times this week alone, I’ve gone in to find someone took the last of it. Grrr.

AM: If it’s not a daddy long legs, then I’m a little freaked out because it’s still there.

Deals: I’ve never seen him in the middle of the web. I don’t like the sound of “banana spider.” I just looked it up, and HOLY COW, if that’s what was up there, believe me, I’d have killed it by now. Even the “garden spider” (as opposed to the Brazilian banana spider) pictures looked scary. My parents get those in their back yard at night sometimes, and for that reason, I just don’t go out there after dark.

And now I’m having full body shivers.

After reading y’all’s comments, I went online, and some people say that daddy long legs make webs, they just aren’t webs like spiders generally make but are “loose, irregular” webs. So maybe that’s what it is? Eegads, I hope so.