Monday, December 06, 2010

I might be unreasonable about this. But I think if you can't work a freakin' coffee carafe, don't drink the coffee.

I have complained many times on this blog about the fact that someone in this office is apparently trying to go all Taliban on us by setting up an IED in the form of an empty coffee pot left cooking away on a hot burner. If you want to burn your own house down or shoot yourself up with shards of exploding coffee pot glass in your own home, I could not care less, so long as you don’t get anyone else hurt. But please, don’t do it at the office. Leave us poor worker ants out of it.

Now I have something related but new to complain about. You knew I couldn’t go a whole week without complaining about something, right? And yes, this is coffee-related.

Lately, whoever has been making the coffee has been, instead of putting it into the carafe to keep it warm and toasty, leaving it in the coffee pot sitting on the hot burner. You know how I feel about this. This used to happen occasionally, but now it happens every single [gosh darn] day. More than once. Why the face, y’all?

Someone does not understand the concept of a carafe. I really, really want to put a sign on the carafe that says, “Hint: I am not for decoration.” Or “if you do not understand how to use this complicated piece of equipment, someone can explain it to you.” Or maybe, “Put the [farking] coffee in the [farking] carafe, you inconsiderate [beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep]. I hope that coffee has formed a solid and you choke on it.”

Yeah, I get a little bit coffee rage-y sometimes. I realize it’s inappropriate. Obviously I can’t say at work what I really want to say, so I vent here. No worries, I will not be blogging in the near future anything that starts with, “so, I went all ‘Falling Down’ at the office yesterday.”

Speaking of Michael Douglas, don’t you just love him as an actor?

Anyway, possibly part of my problem might be that I suspect who is doing it, and this person is an "I am above doing things I don't want to do and my way is always right" type, and I'm not overly-fond of her, and this is just one more thing about which I can say, "well of course she does that." But I do not like to chew my coffee. And anyone who won't pour that [bleep] coffee into the [bleep] carafe either doesn't actually like coffee or is just lazy and inconsiderate and is basically flipping all of us other coffee drinkers the bird. So. Result: coffee rage.

Sorry about that.

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