Wednesday, January 05, 2011

Dear local community college,

I can’t help but notice that you have not yet replied to my application to take some classes at your campus. Please allow me to point out that I already have a bachelor’s degree and a J.D. I don’t argue that this makes me more important or more qualified to take classes at your school than your non-degree-holding applicants, because it doesn’t. But to the extent that your application process is designed to weed out those people who aren’t ready for college classes, my education history does establish that when it comes to higher education, I can “hack it,” as the kids say.

So what’s the deal, school? If some unmotivated slacker who chose community college over getting a job because she thinks it means she can put off becoming an adult takes my spot in that nutrition class, I may do something drastic, like writing to my state representative. Or maybe angrily shaking my fist in your direction.

Also, I stopped by your cafeteria today, and two of the grapes I bought from the salad bar look moldy. Plus, I think I might be having an allergic reaction to the non-moldy grapes, which makes me wonder what you did to them. I was also disappointed to see that you didn’t have any bananas among your fresh fruit selection. Even my neighborhood gas station sells bananas. I really don’t want to take that as a sign of what to expect from your school, but so far, I’m not impressed.

Sincerely,
Future Student, or Possibly Just Angry Taxpayer

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On an unrelated note, I hate UPS, and this is a big part of why:

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