Thursday, June 30, 2011

Haters gotta . . . be as petty as possible, apparently

Not much news on ParkingGate, but based on today, either Coworker McPettypants doesn't have much of an "A" game, or she's lulling me into a false sense of security. Today's story is about a pot of coffee, a note, and a serious inability to leave well enough alone.

Here's what happened. Every day when someone makes the first pot of coffee in the morning, that person takes a paper towel, writes the date on it, and sticks it in front of the coffee carafe. This is a wasteful practice paper-wise, but it does help prevent those moments when you take a big swig of your first cup of coffee in the morning only to discover you're drinking yesterday's coffee. Anyway, I was the first person in the break room this morning, so I started the coffee maker going and went ahead and wrote the note and stuck it in front of the carafe. I was about to leave to go check my mailbox while the coffee brewed when McPettypants walked in.

She was startled enough to see me that she let out a "good morning." She seemed to regret it immediately. And then she ignored me.

I left to go check my mail. While I was gone, the coffee must have finished brewing because when I came back, McPettypants was gone, but before leaving she had poured the coffee into the carafe.

And she had replaced my note with one of her own.

And her note had a smiley face on it.

That's stupid, right? I mean, that's really stupid. You're feeling a little let down in the story, right? This seems like such a small thing, not something to get worked up about. Why am I even telling this story?

But that's my point. Why did she do it? What is her motivation? What went through head that made her throw out my note and write a new one?

Is this really her idea of sticking it to me? Because that's pretty weak. Or does she just hate me so much that she can't stand to get coffee from a carafe next to a note with my writing on it? Or does she need to take credit for making the coffee? Is the smiley face her way of flipping me off, or does she actually think if she pretends like she cares about cheering up any of the people we work with, they will start liking her even though she blames her screw ups on them?

I stood there for a good 30 seconds, coffee cup in hand, staring at that note and that stupid smiley face, trying to convince myself that it was my note and I just wasn't recognizing my handwriting, and she'd just drawn a smiley face on it for some reason. My brain could not accept the idea that someone would actually use the time and physical effort to do something so completely pointless. I was baffled. I still am. So I guess if her goal was to waste my time, then, well done, McPettypants. Touché.
You got me.

If this is the best she can do, if this is the kind of thing she's got lined up for me in her quest to . . . whatever she's trying to do, I look forward to seeing what comes my way.

Oh, and by the way, she's now parking one space over from where she had been parking, in a spot that is still not her assigned parking spot. And that's all I'm going to say about that.


Durgabala said...

Nice story, and I think she was jealous that you got up first to prepare the coffee, may be to show off she did the actual brewing...hahha..some people fancy this first doing...great post i really enjoyed reading it ..well written.

Bee said...


You're awesome. Until she gets that, well...her loss.

In other news, Bulwer-Lytton fic contest just announced its winner for 2011. Woot!

2011 Winners

JLR said...

Durgabala, thanks for stopping by! Btw, all she did was pour the coffee in the carafe. I think you are right, though, that she wanted the credit for it!

Bee, I saw that, too! And I immediately thought of you. Oh, and I think your diagnosis of her condition is correct.

Lee Farrand said...

In the science world, we designate credit by having an author list. In this case, your name should be listed first, and her name second. For her to take full authorship is coffee-misconduct.

JLR said...

And that is an offense punishable by death! Or at least banishment from the coffee pool.