Thursday, June 23, 2011

Maybe she's a robot designed to make my head explode

I cannot even describe for you just how ridiculous is the latest work drama that I'm involved in. It is so stupid that I'm embarrassed to be associated with it, even though it's not my fault that it turned into this nonsense. It's so stupid. It involves parking, y'all. Drama over a freakin' parking space.

I won't go into the whole story, I'll just give you these four facts:

(1) I was assigned a new parking space at work.
(2) A coworker started parking in the spot next to my new space, even though that was not her assigned space, because she liked it better than her assigned space, and the person who is assigned to park there apparently never uses the space.
(3) Because of the size of the parking spaces and her vehicle, it is impossible for me to get into my space if she's parked there.
(4) I asked her to not park in that spot that was not her space because if she parked there, I cannot get into my assigned space.

And because of this, she became very, very angry. Because of a parking space, she hates my guts. Because of a parking space, she has started telling random coworkers how much she doesn't like me. Because of a parking space. BECAUSE OF A PARKING SPACE. Because I asked her not to park in the spot that wasn't hers, because her parking there meant I could not get into the spot that is mine. This is apparently worth of a blood feud.

I think what really set her off was when she came up with what I guess she thought was a winning point--she asked me, "well, what are you going to do if the person whose spot that is starts parking there"--and instead of getting flustered, saying "you win, keep parking there," or arguing with her, I just said I'd deal with it when it happened, "and anyway you said no one ever parks there, so it shouldn't be a problem." At that point, if she could have turned me into dust with her laser eyes, she totally would have.

I just can't, y'all. I just can't understand it. People who so badly need drama that they have to create it over stupid stuff, I just can't . . . I just . . . I JUST CAN'T. I really want to laugh, but also I am afraid that she will show up at my house one day with her crazy eyes and a knife.

Despite my fear, I seriously cannot wait to go to work tomorrow.


Bee said...

It may behoove you to learn how to park (and I may get this terminology wrong) "like a beached whale". Problem solved.

I'm a kill them with a double-sided sword of kindness. "Hey, since the parking appears to be a real intense issue for you, why don't we talk to the owner of the spot and see what we can come up with? okay?" Say it with a smile. This confuses the heck out of people and also makes them think you might be a serial killer in the off-hours, thus not ever daring to cross you. But all you did was offer a solution (and smile) to the problem. win/win, right?

Keep us updated on ParkingGate. :)

JLR said...

Bee! Hello! I love your suggestion. :)

Nothing new to report on ParkingGate--other than the fact that today I said hello to crazy coworker and she just blew right by me. So of course now I have resolved to say hello every single time I see her.

By the way, the last time I tried to comment on your blog, it totally would not let me. :(

RR said...

I eagerly await more news about ParkingGate. Only now that I think of it, for your sake, I hope there isn't any more news to report. :)