Saturday, August 27, 2011

Time to Buy Eye Cream, Apparently

Today at Whole Foods, somebody thought I was my sister's mother. We're twins. We're twins, but I apparently look an entire generation older than her.

This is at least the 3rd time this has happened.

I think I'm going to stop hanging out with her.

Monday, August 15, 2011

In which I lose my temper and storm out of Radio Shack

Oh, excuse me, “The Shack.”

I guess I didn’t really storm out of That Place so much as just say “never mind” to the cashier and leave, but it felt like storming out.

See, I had a little disagreement with the saleswoman about whether I would or would not be buying a Tracfone. She seemed to think that this was something I should not do. I explained that I was buying it for a friend that would be returning to the States next month from overseas and who would need a phone for the first few days until she had a chance to sign up for a cell phone plan.

[She is totally fine with being stranded in a new city with no way to contact anyone in case of an emergency, but I am paranoid and am not fine with it, so I'm sending the phone to her in Korea]

That's a decent reason to buy a disposable phone, no?

Well, no, apparently. We had to go a few rounds over whether in fact the best idea regarding cell service would be for my friend to spend 14 hours on a plane, and then 2 hours on a train, and then, when she arrived at 8 o’clock at night in the city that she had never been to before and in which she knew no one, with all her luggage, without a car, to march herself immediately and directly to a Radio Shack and get herself a phone plan. Yes, that sounds like a great idea, I will pass that along to her. Now will you please sell me this $10 phone in case my friend does not want to do something that insane?

My favorite part of that conversation:
Her: She can just call when she lands to get her account activated.
Me: Uh huh. And how would she do that without a phone?
Her: [pause] She doesn't need a phone. She can come by any Radio Shack. We don't close until 9:30.

I was about 20 seconds away from asking her point blank if she was refusing to sell me the phone when she finally relented and allowed me to proceed to the register. But by that point, oh, was I annoyed. I thought that there couldn't be anything left in the transaction to annoy me, but I had forgotten about Radio Shack’s ridiculous policy about not selling you anything without you providing your name, phone number, address, and a blood sample. Ok, not a blood sample, but you know that's coming. Anyway, I was annoyed enough when she asked for my name and number, but when she got to my address, I snapped and said, “You know what, never mind. I’m not going to buy it.” And then I left.

Oooo, dramatic.

Yeah, that’s my version of storming out. You do not want to mess with this. I am clearly a force to be reckoned with.

But I was pretty proud of myself. Then I had to call my sister and tell her that I had to find somewhere else to buy the phone on account of me losing my temper at Radio Shack. Fortunately, there’s a Target in the same shopping center, and they sold the exact same phone, advice-free. I’m now in possession of a pretty craptastic (crap-plastic?) cell phone that I think will serve its purpose.

Needless to say, I will not be programming the number for Radio Shack into my friend's new phone before giving it to her.

Thursday, August 11, 2011

Coworker serenaded us at lunch again. Oh, and my cat ate a plastic bag.


That was a nice $500 trip to the vet. After he threw up one piece of plastic, I thought, "well, that's gotta be all he ate, 'cause why would he KEEP eating plastic?" Turns out I was wrong. Turns out he's high-strung and a "stress eater" like his me. Only I eat jars of cashew butter and boxes of ginger candy. He eats the wrapping on the roll of paper towels.

RR and I do not know what to do about that cat sometimes. We spend a lot of time asking him "Whhhhhhhyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?" WHY does he refuse to eat his food when we know he's hungry? WHY does he stand on my neck in the morning to wake me up to feed him because he's hungry from not eating his dinner the night before? WHY does he insist on trying to get in the cabinet door that he can't quite manage to pry open more than a few inches before losing his grip, thereby slamming the cabinet shut again, producing a constant "kuhTHUNKuhTHUNKkuhTHUNK."

He never gives us an answer, though. He just looks at us blankly and goes back to eating the carpet on the stairs. And that's why we love him. We do not, however, love the vet bills.

Anyway.

So, yeah. Got sung at during lunch at a barbecue joint. And my boss ended a three hour lunch week before last by making me and one of my coworkers go to a store that sells supplies to magicians. I hate that store. I've said so, repeatedly. She said it would be a reward for our hard work. I said, "it wouldn't be a reward for me." She still made us go. And then she made us pick out a deck of cards for doing card tricks, which she bought for us (after having the poor employee demonstrate the tricks for us). I'd say it was nice of her and it's the thought that counts, except she knew I didn't want it, so I'm not really sure how I feel about it. I seriously almost cried in the middle of the store. That's kind of what my whole job has been like lately, which is why I haven't posted much. I've way behind, and my boss seems to be engaging in some kind of psychological warfare against me. Boss, if you're testing me, let me save you the trouble and just tell you: yes, I will give up company secrets if I'm locked in the magic store.

One month until vacation. One month until vacation.

Monday, August 01, 2011

Back soon, for reals

This is the busiest time of year for me at work, and it's kicking me in my sit-me-down-upon. I'm taking a break, though, to tell you that I have actually thought of some topics to blog about, so you have that to look forward to. Of course, by the time I have the chance to blog again, I will probably have forgotten what I was going to say, so it will be just more of the same ol' "I don't know what to blog about anymore, so here's my grocery list" type posting. (hint: LOTS of ginger)

(By "ginger" I mean the plant and not, say, Damian Lewis or Julian Rhind-Tutt, although don't I wish this was an option at my local Whole Foods.)

(I think "by ginger!" should be a new exclamation of surprise. "By ginger, we've been hornswoggled!")

(And by "hornswoggled," I mean bamboozled, not smacked down by the WWE wrestler, about whom I knew nothing until spell-checking the word hornswoggle, and about whom I wish that I still knew nothing.)

(And by "bamboozled," I mean taken for a ride, not beaten with bamboo sticks.)

(And by "taken for a ride," I meant a nice drive through the country, of course.)

This post appears to have gone out of control, so I'm getting back to work now.