Sunday, March 04, 2012

Oh, hi, Mr. UPS man. Thanks for being too polite to mention my Mylanta Face

So let me say what I was thinking, since you didn't bring it up. Sorry you had to knock twice.  I was debating whether or not to get up and see who was at the door. What?  Oh, this? Well, see, I thought I had read somewhere that if your skin is irritated, milk of magnesia will help soothe it, and my face felt irritated because I was too enthusiastic with the exfoliating, so . . . yeah.  I think that's wrong, though, because it feels like it's eating my face, not soothing it. 

Hmm? Oh, yes, actually, I did think it would be a good idea to wipe it off before I'd opened the door so you wouldn't have to look at it.  Actually, I thought I had wiped it off, so you can imagine my embarrassment at discovering that I'd missed a patch.  Hahahahaha! *sigh*

Oh, no, I can't say that I'm surprised, exactly, because this kind of thing happens to me all the time. No no, not this exactly--yes, you would think I'd learn from it, wouldn't you--but this kind of thing.  That's why I'm only slightly embarrassed.  I don't think I can get really embarrassed anymore, at least not by stuff like that.

Yes, it probably is in part because I'm getting older, which I guess you can tell because the Mylanta doesn't hide the crows feet forming around my eyes, although I'm sure it distracts from them.  Haha! Ha!

So, uh, listen.  I still have a few more packages coming in the next week.  Why don't you just leave them on the front porch, and maybe we can just pretend this never happened.

1 comment:

RR said...

But at least you didn't have a stain on your shirt...right?