Monday, April 09, 2012

Nananananana CAT SCAN!

All day long I've been singing "cat scan" to the tune of the theme to the old Batman t.v. show.  Why? Because today was the day of my CT scan.  I didn't like it.  I didn't like the iodine injection part, where you feel hot in your veins and get a metallic taste in your mouth.  But mostly I didn't like getting yelled at by the CT machine.  I was just lying there in the semi-darkness, listening to the soothing drone of the machine, when completely unexpectedly, the CT machine started projecting orders in a loud computerized woman's voice.  "BREATHE IN! BREATHE OUT! BREATHE IN! BREATHE OUT! HOLD"  It was the opposite of relaxing.  I felt like I'd been ambushed.  But I, for one, welcome our new computer overlords, so I did as I was commanded. 

Of course, the unexpected yelling of commands flustered me a bit, so I'm not entirely sure that I wasn't breathing out when I was supposed to be breathing in, and vice versa.  No kidding, I had a few moments there as I was trying to follow instructions when I could not actually remember which way was breathing in and which way was breathing out.  It was not unlike the time right after we'd received our learner's permits, and my mom decided to let RR drive her, me, and my grandmother home from a restaurant.  Poor RR was so flustered by everyone monitoring her and most assuredly judging her that she couldn't think straight and was forced to ask for a reminder about "which one's go."  My grandmother very seriously almost walked home.

For the record, RR is an excellent driver.

I did have to take off some of my clothes for the CT scan, and the technician was surprised and impressed by how quick I was about it.  I didn't think he wanted any explanation, so I didn't tell him that the faster I can get undressed, the faster I can get into bed, and the faster I can get to my favorite part of the day--sleeping. I can undress very fast. I am no bedtime lollygagger. I don't usually get yelled at about my breathing when I'm in my bed, though.

Anyway, that's over. 

In other news, I'm still anemic, so apparently more testing is required unless I can find a way to magically become un-anemic in the next few days. I'm open to suggestions, up to and including back-alley blood transfusions.

Just kidding.


Today wasn't all bad, though.  The allergy-safe marshmallows that we ordered last week arrived today.  In case you're wondering, marshmallows are still fabulous when melted and mixed with peanut butter.  I plan on conducting many, many follow-up experiments just to make sure.  After all, you can't really draw any definite conclusions about something based on a single experiment. In the name of science, I really should do some more testing. 

Oh! I almost forgot!  The crazy, incompetent coworker is gone.  And when I say incompetent, I mean incompetent. I have never in my life met someone so bad at an office job who was able to form complete sentences and was also legally allowed to drive.  And when she screwed up, 95% of the time she blamed it one someone else.  And she lied about things for absolutely no reason.  And she created trouble for other people constantly.  I do not understand how she held on to her job for so long except that incompetent people and trouble-making coworkers somehow almost always stay employed and are often even promoted.  But regardless of how she managed to stay on for so long, she finally found another job, quit, and left, though not before spectacularly burning any bridges she might have left.  It was awesome, and I mean that in the real sense of the word. 

That's all that's going on with me.  And now if you'll excuse me, I just realized that I have only tested these marshmallows with crunchy peanut butter, and really, if I'm serious about this, I need to test how the marshmallows taste with creamy peanut butter.

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