Tuesday, April 08, 2014

I remembered I have a blog.

[WARNING:  I didn't proofread this.]

You guys. Work. Amirite?  Yeesh.  Sometimes I wonder why I went to law school. So that I could do nothing but work, for pay that doesn't make up for having no life?  And then I remembered that it was also so I could take on massive student loan debt.  Good decision, me! 

It could be worse. I could hate the job itself, which I don't usually, although it does sometimes feel like I'm stuck in some weird play where I'm the only sane person.  I guess that would make it like "The Office." Which, yeah, that sounds about right.  On the other hand, it does make for some intense bonding with the normal ones of the legal world.  When a lawyer you're just getting to know relates an interaction with a non-normal one and then asks, "That's weird, right?"--instant kinship! You have found one of your people. 

Of course, we're all strange to some degree, that seems to be the one unifying quality of lawyers everywhere.  It just depends on where you fall on the spectrum of strange.  Like, are you picky about what type of pen you use? That's cool. That's acceptable. But some lawyers, they're just odd.  If one of us Normals is at a social gathering and runs across a socially awkward person with obviously low emotional intelligence, we are never surprised to find out they're a lawyer.  I think on some level, we know it before we were told.  And the worst part is that they don't know they're odd. They will tell you the odd things they think and do but do not understand or perceive how uncomfortable they're making you. Sometimes they get that people don't seem to like them as much as other people are liked, but they are totally baffled about why.

Work has been pretty good for the past couple of months, if only because I refuse to be annoyed by little things.  You know the video for Fiona Apple's cover of "Across the Universe"? Where all kinds of chaos is going on around her, and she's just ignoring it?  That's me. Not all the time, but I'm working on it. Jai Guru Deva and all that zen jazz. 

I do have my moments--like this week, when I emailed a coworker for input on a case, and her response made it clear that she hadn't actually read more than one or two sentences in my email.  And then I responded to correct her, and she responded in a way that showed once again, she had not read my emails. And I have to have her input on this case. I'd been emailing her because sometimes when I speak to her face-to-face, she does the same thing--she listens to a few sentences, makes up her mind about what we need to do, and then ignores anything else I say about it because it doesn't fit in with the opinion she's already formed. So,  yeah, I get rage-y there for a minute. Ok, several minutes.  Fine, hours. But then I remind myself that give way too much detail in my emails, and probably she just gets tired of wading through it.  And then I tell myself that if one of us is going to get annoyed, it's not going to be me, so I'm just going to keep emailing her or talking to her about the same thing until she finally listens to what I'm actually saying.

One area in which I am not doing so well on the calm front is at home.  This is because about a month ago, one of my neighbors--I don't know which one--started playing their music a little too loud, and they just kept going. For real, I don't think they've turned it off at all.  And because I'm cursed with a terrible kind of hearing where I can't understand what the person sitting next to me at the restaurant table said but I can hear every single annoying sound within a block, I hear it.  RR cannot hear it at all. 

"You can't hear that?"
"Hear what?"

That's the conversation we have minimum three times a week.  One of us is definitely going to go crazy if this keeps up.


flask said...

i'm glad you're back.

have you tried starting emails to your coworker in the middle?

JLR said...

Thanks! And yeah, I think you and I are the same page on that one. ;) Only I was thinking I should start at the end and work backwards.

Bee said...

It's the emotion and logic dichotomy. And maybe some "The Office" thrown in. :)

Hard to find balance. I lean more toward logic and have to remind myself to listen to my heart more than my head. But I also have empathy and all those little things that tests tell us we need for emotional intelligence. (Thank you, Daniel Goleman) Ironically, I've been told I would make an outstanding lawyer, lol.

You'll always be my people. :grins:

JLR said...

I, uh, just read your comment, Bee. I am a leetle bit slow about getting around to checking my blog. But same to you!